Photo credit: Orin Zebest
My house is a disaster! There’s stuff all over the place. I’m out of closet space and there are piles everywhere. My sister calls me a hoarder. It all feels so overwhelming. I’m motivated to do a big Spring Cleaning, but I have no idea where to start. Help!
The Shrink Replies
Yep, it’s that time of year. We’ve all been sequestered inside for way too long and are feeling the itch to throw open the windows, air out the house and freshen things up. Unless you are one of those compulsively tidy people (enviable!) or live in an austere state of minimalism (worth considering!), you probably have at least a few chronically messy areas in your home. After being inside with our messes and piles all winter, the chronic issue feels more acute. Let’s seize the moment, and your motivation, and make a plan. Here’s a push to get you started.
• Break it Down.
Go into each room, survey the situation and make a master “to-do” list. When you’re faced with what looks like an overwhelming task, your brain shuts down, your body freezes and Netflix beckons. Look at each room as a separate project, a house within a house. Start with “mandatory” items (e.g., fold and put away laundry that’s been in the basket for six weeks) then add some “optional” things (e.g. throw out those old, dusty candles and replace with one new fresh one.) Tape this list somewhere obvious in the room, like on the door. You’ll appreciate having had all of this thinking done when you’re ready to tackle the actual cleaning.
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• Small is Beautiful.
In each room there are drawers, closets and piles. So now add to each room’s master list some small, bite-size tasks. These tiny jobs are the things that will give you great satisfaction once you get started, because you’ll actually be able to cross things off your list much quicker than you think.
• Timing is Everything.
What’s your cleaning style? Some people are marathon-binge cleaners. Once they set their minds to it, they muster superhuman energy and endurance and plow through a room in no time flat. Others do better with a daily vow to tackle one small job at a time. They might jump from room to room depending on the mood of the day, or they might finish a 15-minute task one day and a two-hour job the next. It doesn’t matter how you roll, it matters that you get rolling. Either approach results in the same reward: a list full of checkmarks and a neat, clean space that you can breathe in again.
• Purge, Purge, Purge.
This is where your sister’s judgy comment about your “hoarding” comes in. There’s a difference between people who, clinically speaking, are pathological accumulators; their relationship with their ‘stuff’ is just that—a relationship, and that’s why it takes a skilled interventionist to help a true hoarder part with their prized possessions. The majority of us are not true hoarders, but people who simply have too much stuff and not enough room for it. So back to the plan.
In each room, do a look-around and decide which things are:
- Essential for living.
- Essential for joy.
- Things to give away.
- Things to throw away.
- Things to decide the final fate of in 30 days.
As you work you way around each area, you’ll look at and touch things that are typically out of your reach and view. Out of sight, out of mind? Conventional wisdom says if you haven’t used or worn something in a year, out with it. It’s not really that easy for people, but if you really are torn about an item and need to sleep on it, there’s always category 5!
There are lots of books written on this subject; The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up, Clear Your Clutter with Feng Shui, Minimalism, The Gentle Art of Swedish Death Cleaning, etc. The plot is similar in all of them: get rid of some things, keep the true gems of your existence in their rightful places and clean up on a regular basis. Sounds simple, but it’s not that easy for most of us.
However, once you commit to making your living space one you feel happy to live in, you will feel great! Do it now, before the balmy summer weather arrives. You will soon be romping outdoors enjoying life knowing you’ll be returning home to a peaceful, relaxing, tidy place.
On the Couch is written by a licensed mental health professional. Her advice is not meant to be a substitute for mental health care. Send your questions to onthecouch@shepex.com.
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