Aging and the Positivity Effect

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Image by Mikhail Seleznev - Getty Images

Enjoying old age illustration

Growing old often gets a bad rap, and there’s some validity to that. For many of us, our older years bring more health issues, personal losses and diminished capabilities. But research shows that, on average, elders are more satisfied with their lives than many of their younger counterparts. Several factors are at play here, but a primary one involves something called the “positivity effect.” This involves the capacity to focus more on upbeat feelings and to better self-regulate negative emotions so they are shorter in duration and less bothersome.  

This stems from the fact that, when older, life doesn’t come at us with quite so much intensity. When we’re young, the world is electric. It unfolds with novelty and zeal, making a major frontal assault on one’s senses and psyche. Of course, there are pluses and minuses to the full throttle modus operandi of youth. The ride can be exhilarating, but also sometimes confusing and fraught with big worries about small things.

So, intensity works in both directions, from the highly enjoyable to the terribly distressing. During youth, we are more prone to being bounced around by our feelings, whether the swoon of romantic infatuation or the crushing pain of rejection. On the strictly downside, anger, jealousy, guilt, sadness, alienation and other painful emotional states feel particularly onerous. And with fewer life experiences to serve as points of reference, navigating these storms can be tough for younger folks. I’m not suggesting elders don’t ricochet emotionally, but often life has worn away their sharper psychological edges, making them less reactive and more sanguine. 

Real-Life Experience

How does one acquire the positivity effect? First off, by compiling more real-life experience in dealing with emotional challenges. When it comes to navigating life’s tempests, “been there, done that” has its benefits. Secondly, and somewhat surprisingly, elders spend less time and mental energy wallowing in regrets about what might have been, which studies show proves more common and acute among the young than the old. Finally, the specter of one’s looming mortality often acts as motivation to invest more in what is meaningful in one’s life and, in turn, translating this into purposeful actions. 

Now, despite the positivity effect, some older folks experience the dialing back of life’s intensity as a major loss. Bored by the monotony of their routines, they pine for the newness of the youthful experience and often regard aging with fear and loathing. I’ve inhabited this perspective at times, but I’ve also found there are certain pursuits that re-vitalize one’s élan vital, that reintroduce youthful zest without the accompanying emotional hijacking.  

For me, interacting with nature is one of these. It consistently transports me back to the wonder and awe I felt in my childhood. However, this renewal of self can occur with any pursuit that induces the feeling of being fully alive, either by initiating an entirely new activity or perhaps resurrecting a long dormant one. Life engagement and purpose are foundational supports for the positivity effect.

The same tendency holds true in relationships. While friendships and romances forged earlier in life often have an intense quality that imprints them on one’s psyche, they can also be buffeted by the emotional tempests that often accompany youth, making them as much a source of distress as delight. With age and experience, liaisons can assume a less frantic tone and a richer ambience, creating a deeper affection for others.

So, it’s true that advancing age comes with its own unique set of challenges. However, for many, it can also instill a state of mind that provides a measure of peace that many hope for in the evening of their lives. 

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