"I’m anxious pretty much every waking moment,” Tara told me.
She’s not alone. Of all the mental maladies humans experience, anxiety tops the list in terms of prevalence and, arguably, deleterious impacts. We tend to hear more about depression, which is also ubiquitous, but anxiety proves more pervasive and, in many instances, tougher to treat.
Speaking of treatment, Tara tried most of the usual suspects; talk therapy, medication, exercise, meditation, nutrition, and two methods called “flooding” and “exposure therapy.” As the word implies, flooding involves deliberately amplifying one’s anxiety and meeting it head on. Once having endured the worst, the theory goes, one grows less fearful of anxiety itself, reducing its intensity. Somewhat related, exposure therapy slowly introduces the client to feared situations they might otherwise avoid, gradually teaching them to relax rather than escalate. However, all these approaches help only about half of those suffering chronic anxiety, particularly the generalized variety, leaving the rest searching for relief.
Always Wired?
Tara’s symptoms emerged in many situations, a common scenario for someone experiencing generalized anxiety disorder. It first appeared during childhood and was confined to a few “triggers,” such as storms, the dark and closed-in spaces. By the time she hit high school, that list expanded to include other stimuli, including taking exams, social events, and even doing homework. Once she reached her 30’s, this generalization effect grew still more extensive.
“Just waking up gets me anxious,” she shared. “Even if I have nothing on my calendar, I still feel wired.”
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“Have you ever considered a safety signal?” I asked.
A safety signal is anything that represents or symbolizes the absence of danger, threat or risk. As a child, did you have a favorite blanket or stuffed animal that afforded a sense of comfort? Did mom or dad lull you to sleep with a soothing lullaby? Was there a secret place you used as a refuge from the big, bad world? Researchers found that these and other reassuring stimuli engage a specific pathway in the brain that fosters a sense of comfort and emotional safety.
Tara and I explored safety signals from her childhood, which included a particular song and an imaginary friend. Resurrecting the song was easy. With the imaginary friend, she recreated that mythical entity’s voice, incorporating it into her self-talk as a comforting presence. Once we had these prior signals working for her, we added a new one, a smooth, polished stone that fit nicely in her hand and could be taken anywhere. By associating the stone with the comfort generated by her childhood signals, this new stimulus piggybacked on the sense of security created by the earlier ones. The stone became a safety signal in its own right.
Sound complicated? Only because of my psychobabble. A readily available and, if possible, portable safety signal is a legitimate and researched approach to managing anxiety. Maybe it’s a cherished photo of a loved one, good luck charm, religious symbol, a stone from a special place and time, jewelry, or some other talisman.
At my urging, when Tara woke each morning, she played her safety signal song, self-talked reassuringly in the voice of her imaginary friend, and held the stone in her hand. Taking the stone with her, she used it throughout the day to down-regulate anxious feelings. Before falling asleep each night, she repeated the morning’s routine. Gradually, her generalized anxiety eased, affording her longer and deeper interludes of relaxation, as well as an enhanced capacity to feel emotionally safe while interacting with the world.
This is not some woo-woo sleight of mind. The use of a safety signal activates a specific neural network eliciting comfort. Unlike more direct interventional approaches, such as cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT), flooding and exposure therapy, a safety signal doesn’t try to confront the source of one’s anxiety head-on. Instead, it gradually builds the capacity to feel more emotionally secure, ramping up one’s resilience in the face of anxiety-provoking situations.
Meaning that, sometimes, easing anxiety is less about conquering one’s fears and more about comforting one’s mind.
For more, visit philipchard.com.
