Tranzbenderz flyer
Tranzbenderz flyer
Tranzbenderz is an Alcoholics/Addicts Anonymous (AA) meeting specifically geared towards queer folks. Held weekly at the MKE Alano Club on the East Side, the group provides a safe space for trans, non-binary and queer individuals struggling with addiction to have a sense of community and support independent from traditionally cis or heteronormative spaces.
An individual named Ira has been a core member of Tranzbenderz for some time now. While they did not start the initial group, Ira joined early on and has watched it grow. “It was started by four people all in the same sober living house, and they were all trans people,” they share. “Having a trans and queer sober meeting had not been an existing thing in Milwaukee, and since being trans is a very specific experience, they did not feel safe in the typical AA spaces that are generally older white male-dominated.”
The dual aspects of being queer and being in recovery allow folks to feel comfortable with one another more quickly, Ira contends. “We all have two things in common when we’re in that building, and that gives us an immediate sense of community.”
Aside from the queer aspect, Tranzbenderz is structured like any other AA group. Meetings begin with going over rules and doctrines followed by introductions around the circle; the donation basket is then passed, and sobriety chips are given out. Because the group has expanded overtime, Tranzbenderz splits into smaller groups that go into separate rooms and discuss different topics related to sober living.
“You can either talk about the topic or just talk about what’s been going on in your life,” Ira explains. “Most of the time with new people, it takes them just two weeks to feel just as close to the middle of the circle as everyone else.”
Personal Impact
Alano Club sign
Alano Club sign
Ira shares how Tranzbenderz has impacted them personally. “In early sobriety, it felt like myself and my partner were the only ones out here doing this thing because our and our friends’ lives all revolved around alcohol consumption. Coming out of that and having to change the way we function, it was very lonely for a while. I didn’t know how I could live in this city or state anymore when so much about how we socialize is alcohol-based. But because Milwaukee is a city with a lot of alcoholics, it’s also a city with a lot of sober alcoholics. This meeting has made it clear that there are other people that we’re in this with. We aren’t alone at all. There’s many people who will understand.”
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Community is a crucial component of sobriety because it demands a sense of accountability to others through a “we’re in this together” mentality; Ira elaborates, “The way I and I’m sure many addicts see it, we don’t have a lot of self-preservation instinct in us and might be willing to throw our whole lives and health away if we’re at a low point. You sort of owe it to the people around you to stay sober because if you’re going to fall off the wagon then you’re hurting those you care about. For a lot of us it’s not enough to be accountable to yourself, but you matter to others, and that’s often pretty convincing for people.”
For anyone out there who may need a community like Tranzbenderz, Ira assures them that there is a way out and it is worth it. “You do have to change your entire life, but we are here as living examples of the fact that sobriety works, and that it’s an option no matter how deep you are into the opposite.”
Tranzbenderz meets Tuesdays at 6 p.m. MKE Alano Club is located at 1521 N. Prospect Ave.; visit their website at mkealanoclub.org.
“Every time I meet a new person at Tranzbenderz, I like them and feel close to them immediately,” Ira concludes. “Especially as queer and trans people, a lot of times it feels like there’s no better way to exist and that life will never be easier, but we’re all out here doing it and we love to have new people who need love.”
