Sara Kohlbeck Talks About “The S-Word,” a Suicide Prevention Podcast

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Sara Kohlbeck

Sara Kohlbeck

September, National Suicide Prevention Month, is drawing to a close. For Sara Kohlbeck, the topic is something she addresses year-round. Kohlbeck works at the Medical College of Wisconsin’s Comprehensive Injury Center where she’s the director of the center’s Division of Suicide Prevention.

Kohlbeck researches and works with community partners across the state. Some of these groups of people include Wisconsin’s farmers and veterans, and young black men in the City of Milwaukee. Kohlbeck also co-hosts a podcast called “The S-Word,” with her colleague Dr. Andrew Schramm, a clinical psychologist. They discuss suicide prevention through episodes that focus on data and statistics, non-stigmatizing language, support for suicide loss survivors, issues facing specific communities, and other topics.

How did this podcast come about?

We wanted to make information about suicide and suicide prevention more accessible to the community. Oftentimes the way we disseminate findings is through academic papers, which are not accessible. They are dense and hard to read and many of them are behind paywalls. Our attempt is to not only bring in experts in the field, but also folks who have had lived experience to talk about what they understand about suicide. In many ways we’re trying to challenge predominant notions around suicide, namely that it’ an issue we just lay at the feet of mental health and walk away. We really want to center the idea that suicide has roots in structures and systems in our culture and society. We need to be thinking about all of those things, not just individual mental health related issues.

Do you feel that suicide is still looked at by many as a taboo or uncomfortable subject?

Absolutely, and that’s another reason why we wanted to do this podcast, to shed light on the conversation. When we talk about it, we work to destigmatize it. In the work that I do, I’ve had farmers who wouldn’t even talk to me about this issue because it’s so stigmatized. I think there’s a couple of reasons, fear being one. There’s also a sense of shame, many of us have been told that suicide is sinful and you’re going to hell.  I think things are getting better, there is more openness to talking about this then there was when I started researching suicide ten years ago, but I still think we have a lot of work to do.

If someone is concerned about a loved one have thoughts of suicide, where can they start?

First of all, when you’re concerned about someone, it can be really scary. I’ve been in situations where someone I care about has told me they’re thinking about suicide. You feel scared for them and don’t want them to be in pain anymore. The best thing you can do is take a deep breath, ask open ended questions and express curiosity about what’s going on with them. If they say something like “I’m feeling really hopeless” or “I feel like a burden” or “I feel like the world would be better without me,” you can ask questions like, “what is your experience with that feeling? Why are you feeling that way? Tell me more about that feeling and what that means for you.” Oftentimes if you’re able to hold space for that person to talk about their feelings, not trying to fix or give advice or judge, that in itself is helpful to deescalate the situation.

The flip side to that question is what tactics should people avoid?

The first thing is to not try to shame them, “I can’t believe you would do this,” or “what are you thinking, this is ludicrous.” That’s not helpful and can make the person feel much worse. Giving ultimatums or advice at this point isn’t helpful either. I can’t remember where I heard this metaphor, but you wouldn’t tell someone in the middle of having a heart attack to change their diet. Telling someone “Oh, you should try going for a walk or meditating”– probably not helpful at that point. So, avoid shaming, ultimatums, and giving advice.

The S-Word is available on Spotify, Soundcloud, and other streaming platforms. You can find links and more info here: mcw.edu/departments/comprehensive-injury-center.

The Suicide Prevention Hotline is available by calling 988 or visit 988lifeline.org.