Photo via Turner Hall Ballroom
A John Waters Christmas
Dubbed the “Queer Confucius” and the “Pope of Trash” by the press, 75-year-old author, filmmaker and actor John Waters will once again tour his “A John Waters Christmas—It’s A Yuletide Massacre” show, after a two-year hiatus, this holiday season. The Milwaukee show will take place 8 p.m. Dec. 9 at Turner Hall.
Waters answered a few questions about his holiday tour and favorite seasonal activities.
2021 marks the 25th year of the show. How has it evolved over the years?
The first time I ever did the Christmas show was at the Castro Theater in San Francisco. I had a book called Crackpot, with a chapter called “Why I Love Christmas,” come out around that time. I was asked to do the show based on the book chapter, and then it mutated. It changes with the times, and I’ve especially had to re-write it with COVID, because everything’s so different. Every year, I add something new, because many people come to the shows every year, and I play same theaters every year.
You’ve done a number of virtual events during COVID. Did you host the Christmas show in a virtual format last year?
I would never do the show virtually. As soon as it happens, you just push “send” and it’s over. I did it virtually once—it was the first thing Netflix ever did, a version of my stand-up act 10 or 15 years ago. I’m glad I did that, and that there was a record of that at some point. But with a virtual show, you can’t ad-lib, you can’t change it, and you can’t have the question-and-answers part, which is a big part of it for my audiences. They’re quite big on strange questions.
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I’m back on the road, so let’s see how that goes. I’ll be doing some kind of meet-and-greet, but not the kind where you stand next to someone and take pictures. I think the days of that are over forever maybe, not just for me, but for other entertainers. I used to get the flu from that, just from sitting next to 50 people a night, hugging them and getting a picture taken with them.
I’ve read that you’re big on holiday gift-giving. What are some memorable presents you’ve received throughout the years?
My friends and I used to play a game and give each other gifts we’d hate the most. That’s kind of a fun thing to do, go shopping in reverse for someone. I got all of the soundtracks from the “Rocky” movies, which I threw out the window. That was odd, since I lived on the seventh floor of an apartment building.
What are some of your favorite holiday traditions and favorite and least favorite Christmas songs?
I usually throw a Christmas party every year, but with COVID I can’t have 200 people in my house drinking without a mask on. I used to decorate the electric chair from my movie Female Trouble. I still put up a few decorations, but since I’m not having a giant party, I’m not going to decorate the whole house. I guess a lot of those things are put on hold.
I love country-western, and novelty, Christmas songs, like the dogs barking “Jingle Bells”. I’d try to get [movie actor] Edith Massey, when she was with her punk group, to sing the barking dogs. None of the Christmas songs are as irritating as “Little Drummer Boy,” though. That bum-bum-bum-bah—“The Little Bummer Boy, Puking Around the Christmas Tree.” That could be the title of my show.
Are there any Christmas show surprises for the audience that you’re willing to hint at?
Well, there won’t be if I tell you! Let’s just say I talk about COVID at Christmas, how it’s affected sex at Christmas; how it’s affected your family at Christmas. That’s really important, because now, instead of fighting about Trump, people fight about vaccines, if you can touch your face while stuffing the turkey; things like that. I go into many, many details—more than you’ll ever want to know.
