Conan Writer and Veteran Stand-up Laurie Kilmartin at ‘The Bend’

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Photo: Laurie Kilmartin - kilmartin.com

Laurie Kilmartin

Laurie Kilmartin

“It’s a real skill to headline a comedy club.”

Laurie Kilmartin’s declaration should be evident to anyone who appreciates the artistry of stand-up, of which she has been a practitioner for over 30 years. “You have to follow a feature [comic] who’s trying to bury you. You have servers distracting the audience with drinks and tabs. You have the audience getting progressively drunker. It takes decades of stage time to be able to handle all that well. Any idiot can speak last for 50 minutes; headlining is different,” she explains. 

Having been tried in the crucible of club work, as well as the production of jokes-on-demand for a late-night comedy show, the conditions of Kilmartin’s show, 7:30 p.m. Saturday, March 5 at The Historic West Bend Theatre , a.k.a. The Bend (125 N. Main St., West Bend) should be a relative breeze. She’s looking forward to it.

“I have no idea what West Bend will be like, I am excited to wander around town on Saturday, and find out onstage on Saturday night,” she says. Taking in the local color of the cities she plays is but one of the advantages of life on the road, but the company of colorful characters in her profession is another. 

“Comedy attracts so many kinds of people. I’ve met so many funny, interesting comics from different backgrounds, people I never would have met if I'd stayed in the Bay Area and sold real estate or whatever,” she adds. When Kilmartin was earning her way toward headliner status, however, finding female peers was arguably among her greater challenges. 

On Her Own

“My generation of female comedians rarely had mentors; we were on our own,” she recalls. “There weren’t many women ahead of us, and we were all so isolated from each other professionally that we rarely met. 

“I didn’t know Carrie Snow or Paula Poundstone or Rita Rudner or Carol Leifer when I was coming up. Club bookers never allowed newer female comics to work with a woman headliner. And you couldn't really have a male comic as a mentor because you'd always be worried he was trying to have sex with you. It seemed like each comedy scene allowed one female comic to be considered the ‘good one’ and she could work a lot. The rest just fought for scraps,” Kilmartin says of the way it once was for funny women in her position. 

If things have gotten better for her regarding respect and opportunities in comedy, so have they also improved for a role even more vital than her being a source of mirth: being a single mother to her son. Though he has provided inspiration for her work nigh since his birth, the burden of parenting has lightened some as he’s now a high schooler. 

“My son is 15 now, and parenting is way easier. He can take care of himself, the only thing I still have to teach him is to thoroughly clean up after himself in the shower,” Kilmartin says with relief. Also relieved is her bank account. “Parenting is also cheaper with a teen. I had years of paying a sitter $50 so I could do a set that paid $20. Now, all those $20 bills are all mine.”

Celebrity, No

What isn’t hers, perhaps gladly, are any starstruck reactions from her son and his peers for her media appearances and tenure in Conan O'Brien’s writing team. “I don’t think his friends think I’m a celebrity. I mean, I’m just a stand-up who’s been on TV, it’s not like I play video games on Twitch.” And though she might not have the imprimatur of many teenage boys, Kilmartin has a platform and plenty she wants to express through it. At the very least, she offers a change of perspective that other younger comedians haven’t garnered yet. 

“If a club only books white guys, or straight guys, or young women, you’re just gonna get those points of view. If I see three comics in a row joking about dating, I’m bored. I mean, don’t you people do anything besides date? Any other apps on your phone beside Tindr? Please let me hear jokes from an old person who's done something in their life besides date losers,” Kilmartin implores, 

With her experience on stage and elsewhere in her life comes Kilmartin’s ability to bring insightful chuckles to her listeners, however unbothered by the trendiest of social media platforms she may be. As she offers, “The comics who have been doing it 20-plus years are usually really good at it, but they may not get as much work as someone with a huge Tik Tok following.” But, whether from online likes or the chortles of a live audience, she affirms, “It’s really fun to get a laugh.” 

Here Kilmartin tells of a novel way to curb porn viewing, among other parenting hits and misses: