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- My ex used to pressure me to find a guy for us to have athreesome with – after we broke up I told her the only guy I would haveconsidered was my father.
- I hate flowers; in my lifetime, people have only everappeared with them at times of illness, grief or guilt.
- I always trim my nose hairs before I go to the dentist. Seems like the right thing to do.
- My wife hates her post-baby body – but I am absolutely inlove with all her curves.
- I am not ashamed of my sexual past. But should I lie aboutit in order to donate blood?
- I judge people based on their ringtones. That's the biggestreason I set my phone to vibrate in public places.
- When I had no money for a bikini wax I started plucking mypubic hairs with tweezers and now I’m addicted.
- I sometimes pretend I am a spy and try to follow peopleundetected. I am 43. It makes my errands more fun.
- It always seems that the prettiest girls do the ugliestthings.
- When I’m in an elevator, I pretend that when the doors openI’ll be on the bridge of the Enterprise.
