Photo via Hazel Jones
Off the Cuff spoke with Hazel Jones of Mattie’s Memory, an organization helping parents deal with the loss of a child.
Tell us about forming Mattie’s Memory.
Our son Matthew was stillborn at nearly 21weeks. We discovered this at a routine ultrasound. When he was born, the hospital sadly had very little resources available for myself and my family. He was buried wrapped in a towel, and when I left the hospital all I had was a hat and my discharge papers to show I had ever been pregnant with him.
That was July 28. October of the same year I decided I wanted to give back, so I made memory bags that would be given to families by the hospital when their child died. On Oct. 15, 2012, Mattie’s Memory was created. The day is also important as it’s the international wave of light day, where everyone lights a candle at 7 p.m. in their time zone to remember the babies gone too soon.
What sort of things does your organization provide parents who’ve lost a child?
We provide families with memory bags that contain candles, cloth diapers, blankets, a necklace or bracelet, journal, pen, tissues and a teddy bear. We also give hospitals burial gowns that we make in various sizes from donated formal gowns, and bereavement lists of groups to join either in person or online. I’m a birth and bereavement doula, so I am often with families providing support when in labor after finding out that their child has died during pregnancy. For the NICU, we try to provide hats and blankets, too.
Stay on top of the news of the day
Subscribe to our free, daily e-newsletter to get Milwaukee's latest local news, restaurants, music, arts and entertainment and events delivered right to your inbox every weekday, plus a bonus Week in Review email on Saturdays.
Do you also provide bereavement counseling?
We provide peer support through either face-to-face meetings (currently done via video chat due to COVID), via email, phone messenger, etc. Before the pandemic, we did run a monthly support group. We work with some national organizations who we sometimes refer families to who deal with other aspects of bereavement.
You generously donate all of the items for families who’ve lost a child. Do you have a system for creating these items? Do you have volunteers helping you?
In regards to the burial gowns, we make them as soon as they are received, and try to make as many as we can in five various sizes—the same with the memory bags. We then donate quarterly to area hospitals, which includes all hospitals with a labor and delivery department in Milwaukee, Racine, Kenosha and Waukesha counties.
We have expanded to hospitals in the counties surrounding them as well, and mail across the country. As far as volunteers, I have some amazing people who help. My dear friend Maggie Skovera, her sister Vickie and mother Adoree all help with making bracelets, necklaces, blankets and hats. We recently had some of the children from South Milwaukee School District do a hat drive and managed to obtain nearly 200 hats. We also work closely with an organization in Illinois that does the same thing, and they help us with items when our donations run short. We never turn down help, and it truly has become a community effort.
They say that it is in giving that we receive. How has this organization helped you?
Running Mattie’s Memory has helped me in so many ways. I never wanted another family to live with the feeling of being alone, so being able to reach out and help provides me with that less- alone feeling. It makes me feel that even though Mattie isn’t here, his name lives on and he won’t be forgotten.
Do you get personally involved with clients seeking your services?
I have become friends with many of the families we have helped both locally and nationally, and it is an amazing bond. We come from all walks of life yet have found a sisterhood together. I’m very hands on in everything we do, so I’m involved with everyone who reaches out.
For more information, visit mattiesmemory.org.
