Photo © CTMG
'The Machine' movie
Mark Hamill, Bert Kriescher and Iva Babic in 'The Machine'
Bert Kreischer does a great job of playing himself in The Machine. The movie is an extended riff on one of the comedian’s famous routines, his story about himself as a doofus American college student on a “cultural exchange” in Russia during the ‘90s—a time when the world, and many Russians, held hope for the future. It was also when Russian mobs began to seize the machinery of the system, laying foundations for the gangster state of now when oligarchs mysteriously fall from windows and rival mercenaries blow each other up in nightclubs.
The Machine is a comedy about Russia and about Kreischer, but with a slender vein of pathos. The movie opens with Kreischer in therapy, trying to overcome problems with drink and drugs, regain his health, be a good family guy. Cleverness ripples across the screenplay whose turning point arrives early during the Sweet 16 party for Kreischer’s disenchanted daughter. The kids stand in the pool staring at their phones; they request “glitchcore” (yes, there really is such a thing) from the DJ, a sinister fellow who speaks like a comic book Russian. He heralds the arrival of the Mob, led by Irina (Iva Babic), a cold steel replicant of “Rocky and Bullwinkle’s” Natasha for the new cold war, and her sidekick, Sponge, who looks like Vin Diesel with a tattooed head.
The Russian mobsters kidnap Kreischer and his kvetching, deprecating dad (Mark Hamill), spiriting them by private plane to the motherland. The reason for all this concerns a misdeed from the ‘90s, a plot point too silly to stand against analysis. It gets them to St. Petersburg and that’s all anyone needs to know.
Once there, Kreischer finds his (young) face adorning billboards and labels for a popular brand of vodka. In flashbacks (young Kreischer is played by Jimmy Tatro), he’s revealed to have been more than the life of the party in ‘90s Petersburg. Wearing a collection of Blondie t-shirts, Kreischer taught the country’s novice young mobsters everything they ever learned about American pop culture. Enthralled, they elevated him to heroic status, only to be a bit disappointed when he returns to Russia fat and middle aged.
The screenplay (by Kevin Biegel and Scott Landes) is about as funny as it needs to be, especially as it spoofs Hollywood thrillers and ninja nonsense, but the show belongs to Kreischer with his stand-up’s command of timing and physical comedy.
The Machine is screening at Marcus Southgate Cinema, Marcus South Shore Cinema, Marcus BistroPlex Southridge, Marcus Showtime Cinema, AMC Mayfair, Marcus Ridge Cinema, Movie Tavern Brookfield Square, Marcus Majestic Cinema, Marcus Renaissance Cinema, Marcus North Shore Cinema, Marcus Menomonee Falls Cinema, Marcus Hillside Cinema, Cinemark Tinseltown USA and Marcus Saukville Cinema.
