Photo via Discover Wauwatosa
I grew up in the North Shore but spent a lot of time in Tosa with my godmother as a kid. We had our regular spots on North Ave and in the square, but Ted’s was always a place I wanted to go and somehow missed. Ted was my maternal grandfather’s name and I always thought I would like it just because of that, but it’s so much more special than I could have imagined. For many, it’s a staple and there were definitely regulars in there on a dreary Tuesday afternoon, but for two first-timers it was a really pleasant gift on an otherwise crappy day.
What someone from out East might call a diner, we call them ice cream shops. Ted’s lives up to both names in my book, but the term restaurant will work just fine. You’ve got the cheap prices and the kitsch to match, with a lot of various dairy options on the menu. My mom, whose father’s name was Ted, immediately asked if they sold t-shirts which they do not. We opted for a table in the corner so we could see the pink double-horseshoe counter and kitchen equally as we enjoyed our quick lunch between weekday obligations.
My mom ordered a cheeseburger and onion rings, as she always does when it’s an option on a menu. I opted for the tuna melt and fries. No matter where I go, when I’m ordering the tuna salad I always ask the waitress, “Is the tuna good here?” Every waitress is honest about their tuna opinion. In this case it was a “I don’t really like tuna but I like theirs.” She was right -- it was good. Just a classic tuna melt you could find at any reliable local ice cream shop or diner—xactly what I was looking for.
Then, there’s the décor. You couldn’t keep your eye on any one thing as there was one hilarious piece of kitsch after the next. A cow saying “eat pork” next to his friend the pig saying “eat beef” above the stove where the cook worked his magic. The fridge was adorned with very Sconnie things, slightly politically leaning at times but funny nonetheless.
At one point there was a loud noise that sounded pretty serious and the waitress asked the cook if he was OK to which he replied, “Yeah, that was just my wallet!” The whole place erupted with laughter as anyone could guess this isn’t a place you work to become a millionaire. Like the interiors, the prices seem like they’re from the 1960s as well—and that’s no complaint on either of those two things.
While I know I’m late to the Ted’s party, I’m so happy I went. It was not only a time warp back to pre-COVID days when you could pleasantly enjoy a meal and see people’s faces, but it literally feels like going back in time to the Americana we now only get to see in movies. All in all, it will definitely be a spot I will go back to and hope they do have t-shirts the next time I go. Ted’s, if you’re reading this, it’s time to make some swag!
