Dear Ruthie,
I met a great guy. I don’t think I’ve ever been happier. We’re to the point where I really should introduce him to my family. The only thing is his language. He swears more than anyone I know. I’m pretty all right with this, but I can’t imagine what my parents would say. I don’t think he can control it. Any ideas about bringing my bad-mouthed lover to meet Mom and Dad?
—Like a Sailor
Dear Sailor,
Tell that filthy rat’s crapper of an ass pipe to shut his whore mouth! What’s wrong with these dirty, boot-licking mother frockers? Make the flipping diesel sucker shut the hell up or shove a big fat cork down his lousy pie hole. Then ask him nicely to watch his language around Mom and Dad.
You said yourself that you’re not sure he can even control it, so have a test run. See if he can curb the sailor slang with friends first. Let him know your concerns, and see if he can clean it up for a night or two. If he passes the test, send him Mom’s way.
UPCOMING EVENTS:
Feb. 24: The Remedy Event at Boot Hill Pub (1501 Saint Andrew St., La Crosse): It’s time to get chi, chi, la, la in La Crosse! Enjoy music, raffles, live and silent auctions, a keynote speaker, a drag show and more…all to raise money for the AIDS Resource Center of Wisconsin. Tickets are $20 in advance or $25 at the door for the 5 p.m. event. Visit theremedyevent.org for more information.
Feb. 25: ‘Making a Scene: Wisconsin Art Organizations’ Exhibit Opening at Villa Terrace Decorative Arts Museum (2220 N. Terrace Ave.): Take in the local sites via oil paintings and more during opening night of this exciting spring exhibit. Featuring local artist such as Brian Buchberger, the 6-8 p.m. evening involves a $7 door charge and a captivating cash bar. (Yes…I said, “captivating.”)
Feb. 27: UW-Milwaukee Annual Drag Show at Milwaukee Theatre (500 W. Kilbourn Ave.): Many, many (many!) years ago, I emceed a kooky little drag show on the UWM campus. Little did anyone know that this show would grow and grow (and grow!) to become an institution in Brew City. Check out tomorrow’s drag superstars, enjoy a few longtime favorites and party the night away. The show starts at 7:30 p.m. Arrive early since this event is free and open to the public. A $5 donation at the door is suggested.
Feb. 27: Gear Night at Harbor Room (117 E. Greenfield Ave.): The Argonauts of Wisconsin leather social group invades this Milwaukee leather bar with a night of erotic fundraising. Wear your favorite gear or simply enjoy the view! The Brew City Sisters and Wisconsin Brand of Brothers also plan on being in attendance, so a crazy time is sure to be had by all during the 10 p.m. party.
Feb. 28: Walker’s Pint vs. Fluid Chili Cook-Off at Walker’s Pint (818 S. Second St.) and Fluid Bar (819 S. Second St.): Heat up Oscar Sunday with this annual lip-smacking soiree. This chili cook-off takes bar hopping to new levels as you sample submissions from these two neighborly watering holes. A $5 charge gets you a chance to sample all of the spicy submissions. Kickoff is at noon.
Feb. 28: Oscar Night at Hybrid Lounge (707 E. Brady St.): Hooray for Hollywood….and drink specials, and booze, and prizes…and, and booze! The boys at this Brady Street hot spot are rolling out the red carpet on this night of nights. Come in your formal best (or not) for a 5 p.m. Champagne bust ($15) and take a guess at the night’s big winners. Don’t miss the prizes and the Academy Awards program on the bar’s numerous TV screens.
Feb. 29: Camino Mondays at Camino (434 S. Second St.): Normally closed on Mondays, this “new American restaurant” is opening up and offering up specials on food and beverages, ultimately benefitting the Milwaukee LGBT Community Center. Enjoy raffles and more from 5 p.m. to midnight every Monday until March 14, and you’ll instantly be giving the LGBT Community Center a helping hand! Beer, food and donations…sounds like a great lineup to me!
Want to share an event with Ruthie? Need her advice on a situation? Drop her an email at dearruthie@shepex.com.
