Photo Credit: Allen Halas
Dear Ruthie
Dear Ruthie,
I met a guy on Grindr a while ago, but we never hooked up. We still use the app to keep in touch, and he seems like fun in addition to being sexy AF. Since we started talking, though, I’ve been dating a guy I really like.
I still want to meet the Grindr guy because I think we would be good friends and have fun, but I also don’t want to be tempted into sleeping with him and ruining what I’ve got now with my boyfriend. Should I meet the Grindr guy and possibly make a new friend or do I block him and keep my new relationship safe?
Thanks,
Friendly Pharaoh
Dear Friend,
Well, look at you! Balancing two hotties who both want to get into your pants. You’re a sweetie after my own heart!
I don’t think you have to block the Grindr guy, but I wouldn’t suggest simply meeting up with him either. I’d start by letting him now that since you two originally started talking, you’ve met someone special and you have no interest in cheating on him. In other words, let him know that sex is off the table.
At this point, you’ll have a better feel on whether he’s strictly into you for sex of if he’s open to a platonic friendship. If he’d like to pursue a friendship, let your new boyfriend know. Explain that you met Grindr boy before you met him, and that you think the three of you might be friends. Notice that I said the three of you. Yep! Include your new honey in this budding friendship from the get-go so he never worries about your intentions with Grindr guy. This will also put an end to any temptations to hit the sheets with Grindr stud.
If this all makes you feel uncomfortable, then be upfront with Grindr dude. Tell him that you don’t feel meeting up is a good idea at this time because you’d like to focus on your current relationship...then get the fuck off Grindr.
Ruthie’s Social Calendar
January 20—Virtual Coffee Connection: Wisconsin’s LGBT Chamber of Commerce hosts this monthly morning happy hour, where you can grab a coffee at home, before mixing and mingling with likeminded business owners. Free and open to all, the 8:30-9:30 a.m. event is held on Remo so you can “sit at tables” and discuss more specific topics with smaller groups. Register for the online social at https://live.remo.co/e/january-virtual-coffee-connectio/register.
January 20—“Laughing Liberally: Milwaukee’s Delouse The White House Inauguration Show” Online Comedy Show: The team at Laughing Liberally celebrates the end of the Trump Administration with this 8 p.m. virtual show. For $5 per household, you’ll laugh the night away with several of Milwaukee’s top comics, troupes and others. See www.eventbrite.com, and search for “Laughing Liberally Milwaukee” to access to the change-of-pace evening.
January 22—“Voyages: France” Virtual Concert: As part of its popular “Voyages” series, The Florentine Opera Company explores the music, food and art of France’s baroque era. Anna Reinhold and Jory Vinikou host the delightful program. See www.florentineopera.org for the $40 tickets (per household), login information and more.
January 24—Brunch with the Brunchettes at Hamburger Mary’s (730 S. Fifth St.): Call your brunch bunch to Hamburger Mary’s for a kooky afternoon of fun. Doors open at 11 a.m., with a fast, funny and family-friendly drag show at noon, featuring some of the city’s favorite queens. Enjoy a finger-licking brunch menu, bottomless mimosas and more!
January 26—Circles of Recovery 12-Step Virtual Meeting: The Milwaukee LGBT Community Center does so much good for the city, and this online opportunity is no exception. This 5:30 p.m. Zoom meeting is a substance-use recovery support group open to all experiencing issues regarding alcohol and substance use. Contact Tiodolo De La Garza at tdelagarza@mkelgbt.org with questions and to learn how you can participate.
Have a question for Ruthie? Want to share an upcoming event with her? Email Dear Ruthie at dearruthie@shepex.com.
