Dear Ruthie,
I broke up with my ex about five months ago and now I want him back. I think breaking up was a really big mistake, and I never should have done it. Now he is with someone new, but I think he and I should give it another try. What do you think? Doesn’t everyone deserve a second chance? How can I get my ex back?
Thanks for all you do,
Lonely Guy
Dear Lonely,
I have one word for you…”kidnapping.” Sneak up behind your ex, slip a pillowcase over his head and carry him out to your trunk. You’ll have him back and won’t have to worry about that pesky communication thingy that always seem to get in the way. Granted, kidnapping will lead to far more serious problems than loneliness, but you’ll have plenty of times to address those problems in prison. And really, with all those men, how can you be truly lonely in prison? Sounds like Disney Land to me.
Kidnapping your sexy exy isn’t an option, but dealing with your feelings is. You are the one who broke up with your guy and now you’ve got to deal with the repercussions, sugar booger. Your ex is busy exploring his feelings for a new guy, so let him be for the time being. If that goes south, then you can approach him and see if feelings are mutual. Who knows? If and when that happens, you may not be feeling as lonely as you are now.
Let things simmer a bit, and let him move on and explore the world on his own. Have fun with your friends and family, and reacquaint yourself with yourself. Let the ex be and live life to the fullest. Or, kidnap him. Call me. I know a guy.
UPCOMING EVENTS:
Sept. 9: ‘All Mixed Up’ Opening at Art*Bar (722 E. Burleigh St.): More than 30 artists join forces to present mixed-media works you’ve got to see to believe. Milwaukee’s one and only Art*Bar kicks off the show (which runs until Oct. 4) with a 6-9 p.m. cocktail reception. Art, booze and boys; sounds like a perfect night to me!
Sept. 10: Out in the Park at Six Flags Great America (1 Great America Pkwy, Gurnee, Ill.): It’s LGBT a-go-go when the popular Illinois park closes up and lets 5,000 community members in to party the night away. That’s right, sugar, only 5,000 folks are getting into the 7 p.m. to midnight tribute to diversity in the Midwest. Celebrate with Todrick Hall, Amanda Lepore and others, but get your tickets before they sell out. See gaysixflagschicago.com for ticket packages, lineups and more.
Sept. 11: LGBTQ Picnic at Jackson Park (3500 W. Forest Home Ave., Picnic Area 2): Join the Sixteenth Street Community Health Centers’ outreach team during this ninth annual shin-ding. Food, music, games, friendship and more are the special of the day at this free, all-ages picnic. Call 414-897-5645 for more information about the 1 to 9 p.m. barbecue.
Sept. 11: Castaways MC Food Drive at Kruz (354 E. National Ave.): If you haven’t been to a Castaways party at Brew City’s favorite L/L bar, now is your chance. From 3-7 p.m., the boys will be hootin’ and hollerin’ with a beer bust, raffle prizes and more. Bring a canned good and get a few free raffles tickets. You can also say “Howdy” to Milwaukee icon Baby Jane Hudson because this party doubles as her birthday bash, too!
Sept. 12: Healthy Relationships Course at Milwaukee LGBT Community Center (1110 N. Market St.): Think you need a little help with coupling? Tell Cupid to take a hike and consider this course. The first in a six-week series, this night class investigates what it takes to establish a healthy, successful and happy relationship. Open to singles and couples, the course requires registration by emailing dthomas@mkelgbt.org. Classes run 5:30-7 p.m., and occur every Monday.
Sept. 13: Karaoke Night at Hybrid Lounge (707 E. Brady St.): Sing a tune or sit back and watch the fun because a good time is sure to be had when you plop your ass down at the Brady Street watering hole. The sing-a-long starts at 9 p.m. and runs to bar close, featuring $4 Long Island Ice Teas and more fun than you can shake a microphone at. Let the staff of this hot spot put a smile on your face!
Want to share an event with Ruthie? Need her advice on a situation? Email DearRuthie@Shepex.com. Be sure to catch her on Facebook (Ruthie Kester)and Twitter (@DearRuthie).
