Dear Ruthie,
My wife and I are disagreeing on something. Not sure if there is a “gay etiquette” for this sort of situation, but here it goes.
We host a formal holiday dinner for friends. My wife wants to invite a gay friend we recently made, but she only wants to invite him to introduce him to my boss (who is also gay). Neither have been to this formal dinner before. She thinks they’ll be perfect together, but I don’t feel this is the best situation to make such an introduction. Everyone else coming to the party knows each other and is coupled. While I love both of these guys, they won’t know anyone at the party, and it will become extremely obvious we’ve set them up.
I’ve suggested we simply introduce them at another event, like our holiday open house or a more casual party, with lots of people. Plus, I’m a kind of nervous about the whole thing, because one of them is my boss, after all. She says I’m nuts; I say we’re creating an uncomfortable evening for both of them. As Milwaukee’s very own Miss Manners, what do you think?
Happy Holidays,
Mr. “I’m Right” Smith
Dear Smitty,
Tell your wife not to get her tinsel in a bundle. Sounds like she’s got the holiday spirit, and she wants to invite everyone to the party... including Cupid. While you certainly can’t fault her for wishing to make everyone’s holiday merry and bright, tell her to put the brakes on her effort to make the yuletide gay. There’s no “gay etiquette,” but no host wants to create an awkward evening for any guest.
That said, you’re right! This could be uncomfortable for the guys in question, and I’m willing to bet they’d rather attending a casual bash with more mingling, particularly if things turn frosty under the mistletoe.
Meet her in the middle. Explain that you’re willing to put your neck on the line with your boss if she’ll agree to introduce the boys at a different function. In fact, why not consider my social calendar? Or, nab a few tickets to “The Ginger Minj & Tora Himan Holiday Show” at Hamburger Mary’s on Thursday, Dec. 5. Get your $20 seats by visiting gingermke.brownpapertickets.com. Then, sit back, relax and enjoy your wife’s merry matchmaking.
Ruthie’s Social Calendar
Nov. 27—Our ‘Friends’ Pop-Up Bar Experience at City Lounge (3455 E. Layton Ave.): Calling all “Friends” fanatics! You’ve got to experience this down-to-the-final-detail recreation of the “Friends” sets. From the couch at Central Perk to Monica’s apartment, these recreations take date night to new heights. See what Milwaukee is talking about when you check out this change-of-pace hot spot.
Nov. 29-Dec. 1—The World of Gemstones at C3 Designs (2110 10th Ave., South Milwaukee): Relish three days of gemstone glory with this special event from our area’s favorite LGBTQ-owned-and-operated jewelry store. Stop by for the yearly event that has Milwaukee’s gemstone lovers buzzing.
Nov. 30—Hunter Harvest Beer Bust at Kruz (354 E. National Ave.): Warm up with the team at Kruz during this 3-7 p.m. beer and soda bust. Hosted by MOB (Milwaukee Organized Bears), the party includes a Thanksgiving buffet, toy drive and raffles. Come dressed in your hunting gear and get five free raffle tickets. Best of all, donations benefit Children’s Hospital.
Nov. 30—Drag Alchemy at Crucible (3116 Commercial Ave., Madison, Wis.): Dick Fitswell hosts this inaugural Midwest drag king convention and show. In addition to a show featuring the Midwest’s top drag kings, you’ll find workshops, vendors, tarot readings, dancing, DJs and more. Your $25 “Big Package” ticket includes access to the whole shebang (or maybe I should say “hebang?”) starting at 7 p.m. You can also purchase a $15 show-only ticket, where the curtain goes up at 10:30 p.m. Visit Drag Alchemy’s page at brownpapertickets.com for tickets.
Dec. 1—Loud and Clear Cocktail Competition at La Cage Niteclub (801 S. Second St.): The city’s favorite LGBTQ bartenders descend upon La Cage for a boozy battle like few others. Each bartender shakes up their special concoction before a winner is named. Who will claim the top spot? Stop by the 3-6 p.m. stir-up and find out!
Dec. 3—Yoga and Cocktails at Saint Kate—The Arts Hotel (139 E. Kilbourn Ave.): Yes, you read that correctly... yoga and cocktails (I’ll let that incredible combination sink in for a moment). Sip on cocktails and savasana your way to relaxation in the hotel’s theater. Then, take in the art gallery, bar and more for a 6:30 p.m. night of fun. Enjoy the entire evening for $25 or simply take the yoga class for $20.
Ask Ruthie a question or share your events with her at dearruthie@shepex.com. Follow her on Instagram @ruthiekeester and Facebook at Dear Ruthie. Don’t miss the Halloween special from her reality show, Camp Wannakiki, Season Two, on YouTube now.
