Dear Ruthie,
How long does it take you to feel better after being dumped?
Wondering,
Wonder Woman
Dear Woman,
Until the Uber driver shows up.
Dear Ruthie,
What’s the cure for loneliness, especially when your BFF is happily dating a new guy?
Help!
Sad Sap
Dear Sappy,
Simply ask her guy how well he’s dealing with her herpes. If that doesn’t work, turn the tables and invite yourself to dinner with the happy twosome. When you can, slip a whoopie cushion onto the guy’s chair...a whoopie cushion filled with gravy. That should free up more time on her social calendar.
Dear Ruthie,
What are you doing for Valentine’s Day?
Thanks,
Dateless Guy
Dear Guy,
I won’t be doing anything. My vibrator recently committed suicide. Thanks for stirring up those memories. Time to call Uber.
Ruthie’s Social Calendar:
Feb. 15: Chica Group Meeting at Sixteenth Street Community Health Center (1032 S. Cesar Chavez Drive): Meet other members of Milwaukee’s Transgender community during this social meet and greet that kicks off the 2018 season of get-togethers. Enjoy food, fun and great conversation during the 4-6 p.m. social.
Feb. 16: Doggy Happy Hour at This Is It (418 E. Wells St.): You read that correctly! The geniuses as This Is It have lined up a 5-8 p.m. party for your pooch! Bring your potty-trained, good-with-other-dogs fur baby while you enjoy 3-for-1 rails and taps. Make sure to grab a leash, too, as puppies must be on leashes at all times.
Feb. 16-18: Anime Milwaukee 2018 at Hyatt Regency and Wisconsin Convention Center (333 W. Kilbourn Ave. and 400 W. Wisconsin Ave., respectively): Help celebrate more than 30 years of fantasy fun with this annual nod to anime, gaming, cosplay, music, Asian culture and more. Not sure what that means? Visit animemilwaukee.org and find out. While there, you’ll discover info on the event’s special guests, hotel arrangements and the many ticket packages available.
Feb. 17: Beard (Oh) Bonanza at Riverwest Public House Cooperative (815 E. Locust St.): Whether you’ve got a beard, like beards or simply love beer and brats, this is the event for you! Register at 3 p.m. for the 5 p.m. beard competition, which includes categories such as “Freestyle Beard,” “8+ Inches Natural Beard” and “Mustache.” After the awards are handed out, enjoy live music, drinks and socializing with the contestants.
Feb. 17: A Valentine’s Cabaret at This Is It (418 E. Wells St.): They’re baaacck! Gino De Luca and Karen Valentine bring their all-live tongue-in-cheek cabaret show back to the popular Cathedral Square bar. Enjoy happy hour drink specials, all-live vocals and plenty of laughs during the 7-9 p.m. performance.
Feb. 17: Food & Froth at the Milwaukee Public Museum (800 W. Wells St.): What offers samples from more than 65 breweries, three floors of music, food tastings, dinosaurs and an old lady rocking on her front porch? It’s this awesome 20th annual party held at the museum! Tip back a few brews, take a few bites and hang out with your favorite attractions during the 7-10 p.m. fundraiser. Tickets start at $75 and can be ordered at mpm.edu/beer.
Feb. 17: Heartbreaker Kings at OZ Nightclub (320 Washington St., Wausau): Looking for a naughty night of drag king fun? Head to Wausau for a crazy-good night with five of the state’s favorite kings. A $5 cover charge gets you into the 10:30 p.m. hot-to-trot performance.
Feb. 20: Opening Night ‘Finding Neverland’ at Marcus Center for the Performing Arts (929 W. Water St.): Take in this must-see musical that tells the tale of how one of our favorite stories came to be. You see, Peter Pan is alive and well in the mind of playwright J.M. Barrie, but it isn’t until Barrie meets a few charming siblings (and their pretty widowed mother) before he’s able to bring Peter to life on the stage. Visit marcuscenter.org for tickets for the magical six-day run.
Want to share an event with Ruthie? Need her advice? Email DearRuthie@Shepex.com. Be sure to follow her on Facebook (Ruthie Keester) and Twitter (@DearRuthie).
