Dear Ruthie is sponsored by C3 Designs. C3 Designs offers a variety of services performed in-house, including custom jewelry design, jewelry and watch repair, appraisal, pearl and bead stringing, engraving and flip guards. You can read past columns here.
Dear Ruthie,
This dating thing is so strange to me, particularly since I haven’t done it in years. (I’m 53 years old and recently single.) When I message people, I look at their profile pics and think, “This guy looks and sounds nice.” Then, I meet them and even though they seem nice, there is no sexual attraction because they look nothing like their profile photo! Is it me? Am I being fussy? All I want is a cuddle monster to love and cherish, and to throw me around in bed every now and then. Is that too much to ask?
(Signed) Cuddle-Monster Karl
Dear Cuddly,
Cuddle monsters are my favorite little beasts, particularly this time of year when everyone is on a horny Halloween haunt. That said, I’m happy to help you best find a buddy to spoon with.
Lots of people “cheat” on their profile pics...softening wrinkles, whitening teeth, adding a bit of youth with some contour effects...maybe adding a tint of red to their hair...just saying. It’s normal, so don’t hold that against anyone. After all, no one out there created a hottie-pa-tottie profile pic to lure you in specifically.
You may want to message these men a bit more before meeting in person. Doing so gives you the chance to ask for another pic or two. Send a recent photo of your own first, noting that it’s a new pic and then asking they return the favor. No one should freak out over this request, and if they do, run!
You mentioned that when you meet these men, they “seem nice” but there’s no sexual attraction. I’m the first to tell you that sexual attraction is important, but maybe give this “great personality thing” a shot. Try a second or third date, and your opinion may change. Worst case scenario? You’ll likely have made a new friend, and there’s nothing wrong with that, is there?
If, however, you’re talking about messaging and meeting up strictly for sex—well then, who cares? Go for it if that’s what you’re up for. Your eyes are closed much of the time anyway!
Ruthie’s Social Calendar
October 29—Half-Off Wine Night at Saint Kate Arts Hotel (139 E. Kilbourn Ave.): Explore Milwaukee’s hottest hotel while enjoying discounts on bottles of wine, live music, art galleries, a heated patio and more. Talk about a chic 4-6 p.m. happy hour!
October 30—“Ruthie’s Halloween Spooktacular” at Hamburger Mary’s (730 S. Fifth St.): Go to hell...with me! Let’s celebrate Halloween with my two Dining with the Divas shows (7 p.m. and 9 p.m.). I have a few spooky surprises up my sleeve, so grab your ghoul friends and let’s party the night away. Just be sure to save your table via www.hamburgermarys.com/mke. Let’s eat, drink and scary!
October 31—Halloween Party at Fluid (819 S. Second St.): Fluid is hosting a very intimate Halloween bash, so nab your ticket early. Stop by the bar for your $65 VIP pass, and you’ll enjoy drinks all Halloween night and automatically be entered in the costume contest. But hurry! Tickets are limited for the 8 p.m. to midnight monster mash.
October 31—“Horrorgasmo” at This Is It (418 E. Wells St.): Usher in the bewitching hour with the gang at This Is It. Sylvia Nyxx takes the sinister stage with an evening dedicated to the macabre...along with drink specials, a drag show, DJ, costumes and so much more. The evil evening begins at 10 p.m. Sorry, kids, this a 21+ event.
November 3—Project Q on Site at Milwaukee LGBT Community Center (1110 N. Market St.): Project Q is the community center’s youth program, offing a safe space for lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, questioning and allied kids (ages 13 to 24). The support/social group is open from 3 to 7pm, but swing by www.mkelgbt.org for more on this very popular (and successful) group.
November 5—“Gay Life After 40” Mastermind Digital Event: Register for this daylong (8 a.m. to 4 p.m.) virtual class where you’ll learn to make the most of life. A panel of psychologists, authors, life coaches, and others offer input on everything from self-acceptance to physical wellbeing. Digital tickets are $99 and are available at www.eventbrite.com.
Have a question for Ruthie? Want to share an event with her? Contact Ruthie at DearRuthie@ShepEx.com. Follow her on social media, too! Facebook: Dear Ruthie, Instagram RuthieKeester and Twitter @DearRuthie.
