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Back in 1996, an episode of the sitcom “Friends” featured the character Phoebe possessed by the spirit of a little old Jewish lady, Mrs. Adelman. Apparently, she refused to leave the earthly realm until she had “seen everything.” Phoebe and friends then attend a lesbian wedding and, inevitably, Mrs. Adelman blurts out, “Now I’ve seen everything!” and disappears.
A decade later, Wisconsin battled with its conscience over the definition of marriage. With less than 50% of Wisconsinites supporting marriage equality, voters passed a referendum to amend the state constitution to define marriage as a union of one man and one woman. It also made illegal any other approximation of that union.
In reaction, a photo show portraying committed same-sex couples was supposed to serve as a campaign to depict LGBTQ people as just as mundane as straight people when it came to living up to American family values. The study in sameness set its subjects on patios, in gardens, on tidy suburban streets and in the Wisconsin prairie. Most featured the couples with babies, pets and extended families, while others stood against backgrounds of a church or a patriotic flag. It was too little, too late. Cream City Foundation, as well as Diverse & Resilient, would lobby for the LGBTQ cause with their respective Gay Neighbors and Acceptance Journeys campaigns. Still, it would take several more years for the U.S. Supreme Court to finally establish same-sex marriage as a constitutional right in 2014.
Law of the Land
Since then, marriage equality became the law of the land. In Wisconsin, the vast majority now support it. Save for Republicans and other random rabid zealots still throwing up obstacles to the pursuit of LGBTQ marital happiness, the institution is well established. In fact, Milwaukee’s annual wedding expo, “Love is Love: An LGBT and Allies Wedding Showcase,” is just around the corner. It takes place on Thursday, Jan. 23, and will feature a wide array of vendors catering to the matrimonial needs of same-sex couples. The first event of its kind took place in November 2014, just a month after marriage equality was made law. At the time, several dozen businesses set up to pitch their services to couples with matrimony on their minds. Projections were that the same-sex wedding industry would generate $34 million annually.
It caught on. According to the 2010 Census, there were more than 9,000 married LGBTQ couples in Wisconsin. Of those, 20% had children younger than 18. No doubt that number has increased accordingly. It should be reflected in the 2020 Census (providing questions regarding the LGBTQ population are included).
Meanwhile, for most married LGBTQs, life is as typical as that of straights. Social media provides a window into their daily joys and frustrations that are far from those “now I’ve seen everything” moments—like coping with the ritual of dropping the kids off at school and the impatience with the parent (straight or otherwise) who manages to discombobulate the process.
To accommodate the needs of the LGBTQ people who are married with children, there’s Miltown LGBT Families; and Cream City Foundation is hosting a “Healthy Families, Healthy Communities” conference on Friday, Jan. 31.
This was not the stuff of LGBTQ conversation just a decade ago.
