Calling All Patriots: Nab the Jab

×

Expand

Art Kumbalek

I’m Art Kumbalek and man oh manischewitz what a world, ain’a? So listen, here’s some news I imagine you’d rather not know about, so buckle up:

U.N. report: “Code Red for Humanity,” well isn’t that just focking swell. A Washington Post article says: On Monday… the Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change described how humans have altered the environment at an “unprecedented” pace and detailed how catastrophic impacts lie ahead unless the world rapidly and dramatically cuts greenhouse gas emissions. Yeah, like that’s going to happen.

So, I suggest we ease up on poisoning and squashing rats and cockroaches for they are Earth’s future in regard to living, breathing creatures on this planet. And ’natch, if we’re talking rats and cockroaches surviving the coming hellish hullabaloo, I’m sure those survivors will include a couple, three Republicans to boot, what the fock.

And then here’s a recent quote I wrote down from somewheres I don’t remember:

“Members of the U.S. military will be required to get the COVID-19 vaccine beginning next month under a plan laid out by the Pentagon…”

Seems to me that if you got a’ hankering to serve your country whilst in uniform, you are going to have to nab the jab, god bless America. It also seems to me, I smell the implication that if you want to serve your country whilst out of uniform, to be a true patriot you really ought to nab the jab, god bless America, you betcha.

And speaking of activistly civic duty, I post, with pleasure, the following event, albeit short notice:

“Social Democrats and the Turners, with an Emphasis on Milwaukee”

A presentation and discussion.

Dr. Joseph Hahn studied 15 semesters at the University of Munich finishing with his Ph.D. in History in 1979. On returning to Milwaukee, he was personally influenced by former Mayor Frank Zeidler who commissioned him to translate the 50-page booklet “Milwaukee Turners and Social Democrats, Five Decades of Cooperation (1910-1960).” His membership in the Wisconsin Socialist Party and the Milwaukee Teachers Education Association formed a framework for interests in the earlier heroes of the movements which will be described in this presentation.

Originalnachricht ausblenden

Thursday, August 12, 5:30 pm, Turner Hall (first floor Palm Garden), 1034 N. Vel R. Phillips Ave., Milwaukee, WI, 53203

Social Distancing and Covid-19 precautions will be observed.

(See you there, you betcha.)

Anyways, so here we are, smack-dab amidst the Dog Days—or diēs caniculārēs as they would say in the ancient country of Latin before it sank to the bottom of the sea. Yes sir, it’s those days this time of year “marked by dull lack of progress,” as was my schoolboy study of Latin so marked, how ’bout that.

Yes sir, a secondary translation of diēs caniculārēs means that for our young scholars another summertime full of shoplifting, sneaking smokes and burning bugs with a magnifying glass comes to a kibosh but good. It’s soon back to the books as the challenge of opening them as rarely as possible for the next nine months awaits, masked or unmasked.

At least that’s how it was for me and the fellas, all those years ago during our glorious school days over by Our Lady In Pain ’Cause You Kids Are Going Straight To Hell But Not Soon Enough. School motto: “Rigorous Discipline, Our Specialty.” Cripes, the sisters were required to summer in what used to be called, back-in-the-day, “The Mysterious Orient” once every five focking years so as to master the latest in torture holds, I kid you not.

Anyways, this week was supposed to be my gala back-to-school essay, but gosh darn if that doesn’t sound too damn depressing, ain’a? Back to school. When I was a kid, those three words were right at the top of my hate list; although, I tell you, “get a haircut,” “cut the grass” and “change your underwear” weren’t far behind.

Yeah, I still maintain a three-word hate list, but these days at the top are some chartbusters more appropriate to my age: “It’s closing time.” “Your doctor called.” “Open up. Police.”

But even though it’s been many, many years since my golden days at Our Lady in Pain, I still get the heebie-jeebies whenever I see or hear the words “back to school.” In fact, you may be like me and be one of nearly several veteran survivors of the parochial school system who suffer from Back-To-School Syndrome, and it’s no cakewalk on the beach, I tell you.

One sure fire-sign that you got some kind of dose of this pesky syndrome is a periodically overwhelming need to skip out of doing something you don’t feel like doing. I presently am overwhelmed by that need right now, just so’s you know. I feel the need to skip out of writing the rest of this essay. Heck, you may feel the need to skip reading it, so what the fock.

None of us young scholars back then gave a rat’s ass as to how skipping school could possibly be detrimental to future success. I mean what the fock, skipping science, history and simple math certainly hasn’t put a damper on the political careers of a boatload of jagwagon dunderheads who now sit on the Republican side of the U.S. House of Representatives, I kid you not.

Hey, I’ll bet you a buck two-eighty that this need to skip out of stuff is some kind of misguided attempt to recapture the temporary joy I experienced as a lad whenever I skipped school. Yes, I realize I was partaking in at-risk behavior in that I could’ve been runover by a school bus while attempting to duck the truant officer.

But big focking deal. Life is temporary. At least I would’ve died doing what I loved best—goofing off and screwing around. Heck, that’s got to count for something in the grand scheme of things, ain’a?

You bet it does, ’cause I’m Art Kumbalek and I told you so.