Art Kumbalek
I’m Art Kumbalek and man oh manischewitz what a world, ain’a? So listen, I’ve been instructed to be informative, if not nearly gosh darn enlightening, this week about a so-called event coming up Thursday, July 28. Don’t fret it, this won’t be painful and I’ll be brief so that you can get on with your busy summertime ways. Yeah, summertime, and the shilling is easy.
As some of you’s may be aware, I’ve been snookered into being part of this Shepherd Express empire for 30 years—take 2016, subtract 30, and you ought to get 1986, I’m guessing. Cripes, 1986, the same year that Microsoft had its first public offering of stock on March 13. I wonder what I had to do that was so goddamn important that day that I couldn’t pick up a couple, three shares so’s to be a millionaire on Easy Street here, lo, these my waning days. And 1986 was the year the great songwriter Harold Arlen died. You betcha, he’s the guy, with Yip Harburg on lyrics, who wrote what really ought to be my theme song if I needed a theme song, “If I Only Had a Brain,” what the fock.
Anyways, the powers-that-be around here decided to throw a shebang for Artie’s 30, sponsored by Milwaukee Irish Fest (go figure), over by the Lakefront Brewery on Thursday the 28th, 6-9 p.m., and of course the Brewhaus Polka Kings with special guest Artie Kumbalek will be there, along with a whole lot of special stuff, I hear.
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Now I can’t remember all the details for the life of me, so I recommend that you turn to page 30 of this week’s paper for a big honking advertisement with all the info. And yes, when you see they’re asking $20-a-ticket to join in, you’ll probably say the same focking thing I did, which is: “You got to be jerking my beefaroni!” But like my pal Mark K. would say, “Hey, but what’re you gonna do.” Beats me, but I guess if you think of 20 bucks in what will be A.D. 2046 dollars, it might not seem that aggravating.
So I’ll let you get over now to page 30, and from what I see it sounds like it could be a nice time, what the fock, even I might show up ’cause I’m Art Kumbalek and I told you so.
