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Sad gingerbread man
“So this is Christmas, and what have you done?” John Lennon asked in his holiday ballad, Happy Xmas. For many of us, the answer is, “Stressed myself out.” By now, large swaths of the populace are suffering the pantheon of symptoms stemming from holiday stress—hurry sickness, mental fatigue, irritability, sleep deprivation, decreased immunity, family conflicts and the like. However, is this condition really that bad? Do we over-hype the mental wear and tear from “the most wonderful time of the year?”
Not so much. Stress is, in part, a perceptual issue, meaning what we see is what we get. And a lot of us see the holidays as a relentless juggernaut of tasks, expectations, timelines and obligations. If we interpret an experience as stressful, then as far as the brain and body are concerned, it is. And reputable surveys show over 80 percent of us view this time of year as more mentally and emotionally taxing than any other. What’s more, this stress burden falls disproportionately on women, who are often saddled with the lion’s share of holiday preparations. Interestingly, folks under 25 report less stress during the run-up to Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Year’s. It seems being more dug in with one’s life (career, marriage, kids, mortgage, etc.) adds to the strain.
Causes? Several familiar suspects emerge. First off is task overload. Piling more to-dos on an already crowded schedule is a recipe for mental and physical fatigue. For many, particularly women, there’s little or no break from work and domestic duties this time of year, so holiday preparations escalate the toil and trouble. Once we reach a half dozen or more items on our to-do list, the mental juggling act starts overwhelming the brain’s capacity to stay organized and focused.
Hurry Sick?
Next is hurry sickness. Because time is a finite resource, rushing to get things done is a recipe for losing it. And that’s pretty much what hurry sick people do . . . lose it. Behavioral scientists report a direct link between hurrying and being ticked off. This phenomenon is on full display on our roadways. Of interest, one survey found “other shoppers” are a major source of stress for many. Why? Because they clog up the works, eating away at that narrow time window many set aside for getting the gifts done. We impede each other, and hurry sick folks react with irritation right up to rage.
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Another pain point? Finances. This is a perennial holiday stressor, particularly for lower socioeconomic folks, made worse this year by inflation. The commercialization of Christmas imposes cultural expectations around gift-giving that compel many to overspend or, absent that, to feel guilty about not doing enough. It’s no easy task to ignore the avalanche of media messages that equate gifting with showing our love. Bah humbug, cause it just ain’t so.
There are other stressors, of course. Family dysfunction often peaks during holiday gatherings. Many eat and drink alcohol to excess. Sleep suffers. Seasonal surges in illnesses disrupt plans. Travel chaos increases. The lonely suffer more. Ironically, many of us errantly address holiday stress by becoming more sedentary, overeating, hitting the bottle and increasing our time on screens. Not helpful. So, what to do?
- Start early . . . next year. Shop for Christmas throughout the year, rather than cramming it into the holiday season. This combats hurry sickness.
- Less stuff. Positive experiences make us happier than fancy things. In lieu of purchased gifts, give others more of your time, attention or homemade presents. This reduces task overload.
- Lower expectations. The more joy and familial harmony you expect, the more likely you’ll be disappointed. Dial down your emotional reactivity by lowering the expectational bar.
- Exercise. You hear this constantly . . . because it works. Cardio exercise lowers stress/anxiety by as much as 60 percent from baseline.
- Restraint. Unhealthy foods and alcohol are psychoactive drugs. We pay for the short-term buzz with long-term blur and blah.
- Feed the soul. Contemplative practices, prayer, nature immersion, caroling and other spiritual experiences help us see through the stress-inducing holiday fog to what matters most.
Bottom line? Holiday stress arises more from our decisions than our circumstances. And if there’s a silver lining to this unwelcome condition, that exists in its ability to teach us, albeit the hard way, how to change our holiday habits to avoid devolving into the Grinch who stole Christmas.
For more, visit philipchard.com.
