Dear Ruthie,
I feel like I’m losing a lot in the name of love. I moved my boyfriend into my house with plans of marriage. Since then, I’ve lost friends, I’m rarely invited to outings and I’ve gotten the cold shoulder from family members. The perceived problem is that I’m a 53-year-old man and my boyfriend is 23.
My friends think I’m being ridiculous and that our relationship is a sugar-daddy affair, but they’re wrong. We love each other and know our relationship is real and lasting. How can I make my friends and family see the honesty in our relationship and repair any damage that’s been done?
Thanks,Hopelessly Devoted
Dear Hopeless,
Wowwy zowwy, Father Time! That’s a 30-year difference! I can understand why your friends are concerned, and you should understand their worries, too. After all, if they weren’t true friends, they wouldn’t give a crap, right? They’re reacting because they care about you, doll.
I’m not going to bore you with statistics about the success of May-December romances. (Dr. Phil once quoted a survey noting that a 30-year age gap equated to a 172% chance of divorce. Okay, maybe I am going to bore you with such statistics!) I’m also not going to get into the completely ridiculous excuse of “Well, I’m only attracted to younger guys!” (You’re thinking with the little head between your legs, honey.)
If you’re as committed to this relationship as you say you are, and I believe you are, then verbally recognize your friends’ concerns. Give them a final chance to voice apprehensions without your partner in attendance. Calmly acknowledge their worries and thank them for their concerns. Ask that they remain friends and try their best to support this new, exciting time in your life. Let them know that you hope they’ll remain friends as you explore this relationship and take it to new heights.
Ruthie’s Social Calendar:
Jan. 12: Friday Night Freak Show: ‘The Hunger’ at Times Cinema (5906 W. Vliet St.): Bloodlust takes center stage in this David Bowie classic. Celebrate the glory of Bowie, the fads of the ’80s and the intrigue of the undead during the 9 p.m. showing.
Jan. 13: Yoga at the Museum at the Milwaukee Art Museum (700 N. Art Museum Drive): Follow up on your New Year resolution with an 8:15 a.m. yoga session. Stretch until your heart’s content under the wings of the Calatrava during a $15 class that’s open to all yoga levels. Walk-ins are welcome if there is room, but you might want to see the “Calendar + Events” area of mam.org and register for a guaranteed spot.
Jan. 13: Brewcity Bruisers Roller Derby at UW-Milwaukee Panther Arena (400 W. Kilbourn Ave.): Join the ladies of the Brewcity Bruisers as they lace up their skates and hit the rink in the toughest, coolest, craziest event you’ve ever attended. An $11 ticket gets you into the 6 p.m. derby.
Jan. 13: ‘Rocky Horror’ 40th Anniversary Show at Landmark’s Oriental Theatre (2230 N. Farwell Ave.): In January 1978, the Oriental Theatre unleashed the magic of The Rocky Horror Picture Show on Brew Town…and the city has been reaping the terrifically tacky results since. Celebrate the 40th anniversary of this Milwaukee staple with a live cast, uncut movie, costume contest and more for a $10 ticket. Don’t miss this classic midnight showing!
Jan. 16: Lunch & Learn at Quarles & Brady LLP (411 E. Wisconsin Ave.): Are you an LGBT business owner? Have a lot of LGBT employees? Get certified as such with the Wisconsin LGBT Chamber of Commerce. This noon to 1 p.m. event describes how easy it is to achieve LGBT Business Enterprise certification, presents success stories from currently certified business owners and offers plenty of mingling opportunities. The seminar is free to chamber members and $10 to non-members. Swing by the “Events” area of wislgbtchamber.com for additional details.
Jan. 16: 2017 Best of Milwaukee Party at Potawatomi Hotel and Casino (1721 W. Canal St.): Rub elbows with the best of the best at this annual bash that celebrates all things Milwaukee! The team at Shepherd Express have collected your ballots and are ready to announce the winners in more than 250 categories. See shepherdtickets.com for your $20 ticket that gets you access to free food samplings from the city’s hottest vendors, live entertainment, cash bars and more.
Want to share an event with Ruthie? Need her advice on a situation? Email DearRuthie@Shepex.com.
