Dear Ruthie,
We’re two women of a certain age as they say. We’ve been together for three years, we’re legally married now and we’d like to start a family. We are well aware of the risks of having children at our age. We’re considering adoption but my wife is hung up on our ages (I’m 41 and she’s 43) and having children. How can I convince her that love makes a family, not age? What are your thoughts on adopting at our age? Please share.
Anxiously Waiting,
Big Mamma
Dear Ma,
Congratulations on finding the love of your life and deciding to make a family. It’s not surprising that your wife is getting cold feet while considering having a child later in life. In fact, these considerations are good!
I’d suggest you both do a little research, looking for a couples counselor or therapist who deals with family planning and such. Talk with a counselor about adopting a toddler or young child as opposed to a baby, perhaps. Working through concerns and fears as well as hopes and dreams might be a good idea for the two of you before you take that leap into the parental pool of life.
UPCOMING EVENTS:
Nov. 19: Women Exploring Options in Love at Milwaukee LGBT Community Center (1110 N. Market St.): Are you an adult woman who is married to a man but now feels uncertain about your sexual orientation? Let this support group help you explore your feelings in a safe zone made up of women with similar questions. Email avp@mkelgbt.org for more about the 7-8:30 p.m. meeting.
Nov. 20: Dignity, Resiliency, Solidarity: A Trans*pectrum Conference at Center for Gender and Sexualities Studies (1103 W. Wisconsin Ave.): Honor Transgender Day of Remembrance with this conference at Marquette University. The purpose of the event is to unite Queer, Trans and Gender Non-Conforming people as well as their allies from Wisconsin and the Midwest in general. Enjoy workshops, keynote speakers, entertainers and more during the free 9 a.m. to 7:30 p.m. event. See eventbrite.com for registration information or call 414-288-4973 with questions.
Nov. 21: D.I.X. Is Burning Ball at D.I.X. (739 S. First St.): If you loved the documentary Paris is Burning, get ready to strut your stuff at this ball. Choose a category and hit the runway or stand back and watch the drama. Hosted by Chicago’s Trannika Rex as well as Jacob Bach of “Yeah Bro” fame, this party has everything (insert Stefano impression here): Four walk categories, drag queens, sexy boys, drink specials, prizes and a Ukrainian nun singing death metal versions of ’80s sitcom theme songs. (OK…forget that last part.)
Nov. 21: Miss WI Snowqueen Spotlight Show at Club Icon (6305 120th Ave., Kenosha): Join Kenosha sensation Sheena Rae and I as we raise money for Ruthie’s Kennel Club! The fantastic drag show (meow!) starts at 10 p.m. with a $5 cover charge. A portion of the proceeds and performer tips go to help four animal-related charities in Wisconsin. Let’s party with a paw-pose in Kenosha!
Nov. 22: Milwaukee Comic Con at American Serb Hall (5101 W. Oklahoma Ave.): Whether you’re into comics, vintage toys and games, anime, cosplay or just a lot of kitchy, cool crap sold by fun-loving, free-spirited folks, don’t miss this 10:30 a.m. to 4:30 p.m. event. Tickets are $5 at the door (kids under 12 get in for free). Swing by geekinccomics.com for more.
Nov. 22: Packer Party at Walker’s Pint (818 S. Second St.): Join Betsy and the girls of this popular Sunday spot for a game day to remember. From awesome food and drink specials to raffle prizes and Betsy’s Bleachers, this weekly party is always hopping. Check out this week’s 3:25 p.m. game or visit another Sunday, but be sure to swing by before Packer season ends!
Nov. 24: Milwaukee Food Chat with Sanford D’Amato at Boswell Book Co. (2559 N. Downer Ave.): Are you a foodie or do you simply like shoveling goodies in your pie hole? Don’t miss this casual interview with Sanford restaurant’s founder, Sanford D’Amato! Local author Lori Fredrich hosts the 7 p.m. discussion. While the evening is free and open to the public, you’ll need to purchase a copy of Chef D’Amato’s latest book for the signing. What a great holiday gift for food-loving friends!
Want to share an event with Ruthie? Need her advice on a situation? Email DearRuthie@Shepex.com, Twitter her at @DearRuthie or follow her on Facebook via Dear Ruthie. Learn more about her nonprofit charity at ruthieskennelclub.org.
