While helping readers find love, Dear Ruthie also shares her extensive social calendar to go out in Milwaukee...
Dear Ruthie,
I’m in my late 50s and a widow of five years. My heart has always been open to loving men and women; but it is a woman now whom I seek. People tell me I have to put myself out there, in order to find a companion again.
In the last five years, I’ve tried about a dozen ways to do so. I've attended community events, only to find myself in a sea of people talking to each other. I’ve gone to an LGBTQ dinner group. The gay man sitting next to me told me I’ll never find someone because the hosting organization is for losers. I’ve participated in other groups, but nothing fit. I’ve done volunteer work and attended classes, but there the focus is understandably on work, not socializing. I don’t enjoy going to bars. I've visited several churches, but I am not a religious person.
I’ve contacted people with whom I’ve lost touch, but they’ve moved on. I’ve reached out to new people, but they have their friendship slots filled. Friends tell me they don’t know any single people. Any lesbian they know is already coupled.
I’m a quiet person, who enjoys listening to others. I’m not pretty, I am just me. I met my husband by chance. He was a very good man. Perhaps I have to wait for “chance” again.
Thank you for considering my email, Looking for Love in All the Wrong Places
Dear Looking,
Wow... what haven’t you done? You hardly sound lonely, sugar. In fact, you sound like the busiest social butterfly I know! You go, girl. And by that, I mean, go... to sleep. Hit the sheets, honey, you must be exhausted!
It sounds to me like you’ve really given it your all and that’s wonderful, but perhaps it’s time for a break. I know your heart is aching for a partner, but let cupid do some of the work while you put your feet up for a bit. Relax those tootsies and maybe love will find you.
You said you met your husband “by chance.” Well, it’s time to take a chance again and let the universe send love your way. I’m not saying that you need to sit back and wait for the rest of your life, but maybe take some time out for yourself. Take a small break where it comes to aggressively looking for love but keep your heart open to who the universe might send your way.
Sometimes, love finds you when you’re not looking, so take a break for a bit. Once you’ve had a chance to relax and you feel ready to look for love again, head back out there with all the passion you’ve previously held. Love is out there for you, just give it a chance to find you.
Ruthie’s Social Calendar
July 17—Art Tour at Saint Kate Arts Hotel (139 E. Kilbourn Ave.): Enjoy a relaxing, informative and fascinating 45-minute tour at Milwaukee’s latest artsy hot spot. The docent-led tour features paintings, photography, sculpture and more. The tour is limited to the first 15 guests, so arrive early for the 10 a.m. fun. Meet at Big Piney—the horse sculpture in the hotel’s lobby. Can’t make it? No worry! There’s a tour every Wednesday morning as well as every Thursday afternoon at 2 p.m.
July 19—Gallery Night in Downtown Milwaukee (various locations): The biggest, baddest and best gallery night of the city is back with this 5 p.m. walking tour. Don’t miss the excitement the Third Ward has to offer as trendy galleries, shops, bars and eateries host a great time all night long. If you’re more of a “day person” (that means you’re getting older), check out Gallery Day starting at 2 p.m. on July 20. Regardless, swing by the “Experience” area of historicthirdward.org for more.
July 20—Smith-Nelson Project at Harbor Room (117 E. Greenfield Ave.): Celebrate the 19th anniversary of one of Milwaukee’s favorite Levi-Leather bars with a live performance from Smith-Nelson Project. The band hits the stage at 9 p.m., so arrive early to get a spot on the dance floor. As always, men without shirts drink for less! Happy anniversary, team!
July 22—Monday Movie Matinee at This Is It! (418 E. Wells St.): Stop by this landmark bar after work (5:30 p.m.) for a free movie, free popcorn and two-for-one drink specials! That’s right! You can enjoy a surprise film on the bar’s mega-screen while you take advantage of happy-hour pricing, friendly faces and more.
July 23—Summer Social at South Shore Terrace (2900 S. Shore Drive): The Cream City Foundation hosts this annual sunny soiree featuring all the things that make summer in Brew Town a smash. From cold beer to hot food, you don’t want to miss this 6 p.m. gathering. Enjoy raffles and more during the party that’s free and open to the public.
July 24—Pride Rides Bingo at Hamburger Mary’s (730 S. Fifth St.): Join the team of Pride Rides Wisconsin motorcycle social club as they host a night of bawdy bingo, beer and burgers. The craziness starts at 7:30 p.m. with hilarious drag performances, prizes and more. Best of all? Bingo is free! Call 414-488-2555 and hold your spot today.
Ask Ruthie a question or share your events with her at dearruthie@shepex.com. Follow her on Instagram @ruthiekeester and Facebook at Dear Ruthie.
