Stephen Lovekin / Getty Images Entertainment
I’m so tired of everyone trashing Madonna’s performance on the Grammy Awards. I mean, give her a break. She’s 56 fucking years old! I’m sick of hearing people say, “She shouldn’t dress like that anymore.” She was performing at the Grammys, for God sakes! It’s not like she was singing a ballad at the Oscars or attending a ribbon-cutting ceremony at the Piggly Wiggly in Cudahy. Trust me, if I had a body like that, I’d be wearing that Madonna’s Grammy costume to Burger King….and Home Depot…and the Piggly Wiggly in Cudahy.
I would think women would cheer, “You go, girl! Show ’em that age is just a number!” But it seems many of us would rather bash the poor dame than give her a pat on the back for staying relevant, successful and fit. Speaking of being fit, I hate it when people look at celebrities like Madonna, and say, “If I had a billion dollars, I’d look like that, too….by the way, who ate my Cheetos?”
I can tell you that working out is tough! The last time I exercised I spent 45 minutes sweating, twisting, stretching and bending…and that was just putting on my leotard! Don’t let the bastards get you down, Madonna. You go for it, honey! While we’re on the topic of going for it, let’s read a letter.
Dear Ruthie,
To kiss on the first date of not? That is the question.
—Inquiring Minds
Dear Minds,
I’m all for a game of tonsil hockey, but you really need to make that call on a date-by-date basis. Just remember that if your honey isn’t into first-date smooching, back off a bit.
Feb. 19: Taste of the Ward at Skylight Music Theatre (158 N. Broadway): Grab your stretchy pants and hit the Third Ward for an exciting evening of nifty nibbles. Hosted by the Skylight Theatre, the happy hour offers samples from neighboring restaurants, raffle prizes and a cash bar. Tickets to the 5:30 to 7:30 p.m. event can be purchased at the door and range from $30 to $75. For more, email paulf@skylightmusictheatre.org.
Feb. 19: Chinese New Year at Red Star Cocktail Club (1758 N. Water St.): Ring in this delicious holiday with Red Star and the sultry ladies of Rockabilly Girl Productions. A naughty (and free) burlesque show celebrates the Year of the Sheep along with drink specials, fortune cookies and more. The exotic evening starts at 8:30 p.m.
Feb. 21: Mardi Gras Extravaganza at No Limits Bar (500 N. Baird St., Green Bay): Earn your beads at this Green Bay hotspot. Cash prizes for best Mardi Gras mask, go-go boys and shot specials add to the debauchery. The devilish evening starts at 9 p.m. and runs until you wake up the next morning (with or without a go-go boy)!
Feb. 22: Pint vs. Fluid Chili Cook-Off at Walker’s Pint (819 S. Second St.): Let’s get ready to rumble…Pepto style! Have a gas during the 12th annual competition that pits two of Milwaukee’s favorite watering holes against each other. Patrons from each bar enter awesome chili offerings, and winners from each spot meet at the finals. Bring your appetite for fun and a bottle of Beano, and dig into the fiery fest from noon to 3 p.m.
Feb. 22: Opening of ‘Angry Fags’ at The Steppenwolf Garage Theatre (1624 N. Halstead St., Chicago): Playwright Topher Payne investigates what happens when activism turns to rage in this new comedy. Watch as two friends explore a darkly hilarious path in their attempt to rectify a hate crime. Performed in conjunction with Pride Films and Plays, the show runs until the end of April. Visit steppenwolf.org for tickets and information.
Feb. 24: ‘Barry Manilow—One Last Time’ Concert at BMO Harris Bradley Center (1001 N. Fourth St.): Revisit the Copacabana with the king of adult contemporary, the one and only Barry Manilow! Join the Barmy Army and become a fanilow during this farewell tour, including all the hits you love as well as new favorites from Barry’s latest duets album. Stop by bmoharrisbradleycenter.com for tickets and more regarding the7:30 p.m. Mani-lovely concert.
Have a question for Ruthie? Email DearRuthie@Shepex.com. Be sure to “friend” her on Facebook (Ruthie Keester) and follow her on Twitter (@DearRuthie). Don’t miss her kooky cooking show at ruthiesbitchinkitchen.com.
