Dear Ruthie is sponsored by C3 Designs. C3 Designs offers a variety of services performed in-house, including custom jewelry design, jewelry and watch repair, appraisal, pearl and bead stringing, engraving and flip guards. You can read past columns here.
Dear Ruthie,
I’m a 27-year-old man who is attracted to men. Even though I occasionally fantasize about certain men (usually bodybuilders), I rarely have a desire to actually have sex with them. I’m still a virgin and have never dated a man (girls in high school). Is something wrong with me? At times, I feel like there is but I’m a pretty happy guy overall. I feel like I should feel as if I’m missing out on something, but deep down inside, I don’t feel like I’m missing much. What do you think?
Sincerely,
Happily Ever After Guy
Dear Guy,
A 27-year-old gay man who is still a virgin? Are you a sasquatch? Am I talking to a magical unicorn right now? You are truly a find in the city of Milwaukee, my friend.
Listen, sugar-booger, you sound like a happy fellow who just may not be particularly sexual in nature. You might have a low sex drive, simply enjoy a single life and/or feel good about your current place in life. These things are all OK. These may change in the future, but they’re okay for now.
The fact that you emailed me, however, means that something is concerning you. You feel you need some sort of validation from a big-boned redhead who likes beer, men and key lime pie. It may not be a bad idea for you to simply check in with a therapist or doctor, honey, just to check in with a pro (which I am not). I’m guessing that a professional will give you some emotional homework/things to think about that will help you feel good about yourself and help make sure your life is heading in the right direction.
Dear Ruthie,
I have a crush on a co-worker. We work in the same department but the last several months we’ve been working from home, doing more Zoom, text and emails. We work on a lot of projects together. He’s gay but divorced with three young kids, and he’s 10 years older than me. I’m 22 and he’s 32.
We ran into each other at the protest rallies downtown and hung out most of the day. Walking back to our cars, he asked if I wanted to follow him home and “fool around,” as he put it. I turned him down but said maybe another time. I can’t stop thinking about it, Ruthie. He hasn’t pressured me, but I know one text from me is all it would take to get naked with him.
You think it’s a bad idea, playing with a co-worker? What about our age difference? We could play now and then maybe cut if off when we go back to work. Maybe?
I hope you answer this,
Anxious Andy
Dear Andy,
There’s an old saying about dipping your pen in the company ink, meaning don’t lube up and bend over for a co-worker. These sorts of sexual relationships can lead to awkward feelings at work and ultimately more trouble than a romp in sheets is worth.
If you’re only thinking of knocking boots with this guy, your ages shouldn’t matter. What does, however, is whether you’re mature enough to handle screwing around with a co-worker. After all, you’re both pretty young, darlin’s.
In addition, you’ve got to remember the coronavirus is still out there. Do you really want to risk giving it to a man who is a father to three little ones? Do you want to put your own health at risk right now for a little cookie-baking?Think long and hard about this one, honey. I’m not sure a blow-and-go with this gay divorcee is worth the trouble you could face around the coffee machine once it’s time to go back to work, not to mention the danger of a hookup during the still-very-real pandemic.
Ask Ruthie a question at DearRuthie@Shepex.com. Follow her on Instagram @ruthiekeester and Facebook at Dear Ruthie. Don’t miss her new game show, “Dear Ruthie’s Bar Wars” on www.twitch.tv/dearruthie, and check out her hilarious drag reality competition “Camp Wannakiki,” on YouTube.
Dear Ruthie is sponsored by C3 Designs. You can read past columns here.
