Dear Ruthie,
Dating isn’t easy for this 57-year-old gay man. That’s why I was ecstatic to meet a man my age looking for the same things in life. We starting having sex after our fourth date, and I thought things were great.
A month later, he invited me over. He said he had a surprise for me and disappeared into his bedroom. When he finally emerged, he was dressed like a Barbie doll—pink gown, blonde wig, opera gloves, the works. His red lipstick and green eyeshadow were applied poorly.
He explained that he had a fetish and needed to make love dressed as Barbie regularly. After several questions from me, he noted that he wanted me to dress as a Ken doll from time to time during sex as well.
I gave it my best, Ruthie, but I couldn’t perform with him dressed like that, and there is no way I am going to dress like Ken! This man might be my last chance at love. Any way I can get around this or get him to change or what?
Thanks,
Cautious “Ken”
Dear Kenny,
It sounds like your boyfriend is a real doll! (Pun intended.) If a life in plastic isn’t your thing, don’t despair, honey! There are many happy couples who don’t necessarily share one another’s fetishes.
Explain your concerns to your man in a calm, loving manner and see if the two of you can’t come to some middle ground. If you truly believe this relationship has a chance, see if you can’t make some compromises. You might also want to consider seeing a therapist who can help you each get the most out of the bedroom. Now go explore a life with this man…and keep your hands off Skipper.
UPCOMING EVENTS:
Jan. 18: All Things Beyoncé at Sidetrack Video Bar (3349 N. Halsted St., Chicago): Can’t get enough of the Queen B? Neither can our friends to the south! Hit Chicago’s hottest bar for all the lemonade you can handle. Dance the night away, enjoy video clips and take in drag performance, all to Beyoncé’s best. The party kicks off at 9 p.m.
Jan. 19: “Season 8: The Queens, Live Across America” at The Pabst Theater (144 E. Wells St.): Six of your favorites from the last season of “RuPaul’s Drag Race” strut their sultry stuff on the catwalk during this 8 p.m. showdown. Hosted by reigning winner, Bob the Drag Queen, the night includes Kim Chi, Thorgy Thor, Acid Betty and others. See pabsttheater.org for tickets, including a Super Fan offering that includes VIP seating and a meet-and-greet with the cast.
Jan. 19: Queens Cover Queens Party at D.I.X. (739 S. First St.): After enjoying “The Queens, Live Across America” (see above), swing by this unofficial after party. The girls of D.I.X. DollHaus impersonate your favorite contestants from “RuPaul’s Drag Race” during this 10 p.m. show. Drink specials, a DJ and zero cover charge for a diva-licious disco.
Jan. 21: Milwaukappella 2017 at South Milwaukee Performing Arts Center (901 15th Ave.): Love a cappella groups? Then you’ll fa-la-la in love with this day of sing-sational workshops, concerts and more. Check in at 8:30 a.m. for classes, including vocal percussion, vocal technique, visual presentation and others. Meals are included with the $50 ticket. At 7:30 p.m., enjoy a group performance as well as a concert by Vocalight. For ticket options and registration, visit southmilwaukeepac.org.
Jan. 21: The Second Annual Burlesque Ball at Plan B (924 Williamson St., Madison): Shake what your mamma gave ya during this naughty nod to the bump and grind. The state’s top female and male burlesque performers hit the boards alongside drag acts and more. Tickets are $10 at the door for the 10 p.m. show, but come early and shop the local vendor bazaar at 5 p.m. Email melanikcomesayhey@gmail.com with questions.
Jan. 21: Miltown Kings “Dawn of Solidarity” at Next Act Theatre (255 S. Water St.): Grab your cape and mask, and help Milwaukee’s top drag kings rescue the night! The Miltown Kings are about to riffle off their Cream City best during this superhero/villain-themed revue. The $10 door charge gets you entry to the costume contest, 18+ show and more. Doors open at 9 p.m.
Jan. 24: SSBL Town Hall at Hybrid Lounge (707 E. Brady St.): Saturday Softball Beer League (SSBL) hosts the last of three town hall meetings to share plans for 2017’s LGBT kickball, dodgeball and softball games. Whether you’re a player, a supporter (no athletic supporter jokes, OK?) or simply want to learn how to get involved, join the guys and girls for the 6 to 7:30 p.m. discussion. Come with ideas, questions and input. Need more info? Email the commissioner at commissioner.ssbl@gmail.com.
Want to share an event with Ruthie? Need her advice on a situation in your life? Email DearRuthie@Shepex.com.
