Dear Ruthie,
I just came out recently, and I discovered I’m a big ol’ bottom. I went to buy some lube at an adult toy store and was completely overwhelmed by the choices! How many lubes does a new bottom need? Any help here? I have a feeling you’re the kind of girl who knows her way around a bottle of lube.
Bottoms Up!
Hungry Hippo
Dear Hips Ahoy,
Let’s not make this any more complicated than it needs to be, sugar. Lube it up, bend it over and go at it. If you really want to be a lube connoisseur, however, keep in mind that there are generally four types of lube: water-based, silicone-based, oil-based and hybrids that combine a few types.
- Water-based Lubricants are safe for condoms as well as latex toys. You might have to reapply quite a bit, but in the end (no pun intended... OK... sorta), clean-up is a snap.
- Silicone-based Lubricants are a bit more expensive, but they last longer than their water-based counterparts and feel silky smooth. These lubricants are thicker, making things a bit more comfortable for bottom boys. Silicone lubes are safe for condoms but can break down the outer surface of silicone toys over time. They might also stain bedsheets and such.
- Oil-based Lubricants simply don’t stop. There’ll be little-to-no need to reapply them when the motion of the ocean is at high tide. The downsides are that oil lubes stain sheets and clothes easily, and they’re hard to wash off when all the fun is done. Most importantly, they are not recommended for use with condoms: Don’t use oil lubes with condoms, as they break down the condom, allowing semen to pass through.
- Hybrid Lubricants combine different types of lube into one. The combination of water and silicone are the most popular.
Now you’re in the know, sugar. Keep these varieties in mind and do a little experimenting to find the best bet for your bottom.
Ruthie’s Social Calendar
Feb. 6—‘Hedwig and the Angry Inch’ at the Milwaukee Repertory Theater (108 E. Wells St.): The trailblazing rock musical struts its sexy stuff into the intimate setting of the Stiemke Studio. Sit back and savor the intensity of this incredible show, featuring one of the most unique and memorable characters to hit the Great White Way. This all-encompassing production plays through March 8, so sashay your way to milwaukeerep.com and nab your seats today.
Feb. 7—Jukebox Bingo at Walker’s Pint (818 S. Second St.): Bingo meets “Name That Tune” during five rounds of fun at this Walker’s Point staple. Enjoy the “Un-trivia Game,” as well as drink specials, prizes, music, dancing and more. The games start at 8 p.m.
Feb. 8—Wisconsin Cannabis Expo at The Wisconsin Center (400 W. Wisconsin Ave.): The team at Shepherd Express is about to add a bit of greenery to your winter blues. Check out the debut of this exposition, featuring speakers, more than 100 exhibitors and many presentations. See wicannabisexpo.com for more information, including how to grab your $20 tickets (they’re $28 at the door). You must be 18 years or older to attend this 11 a.m.-4 p.m. expo.
Feb. 8—‘The Rocky Horror Picture Show’ 42nd Anniversary-Lingerie Show at the Oriental Theatre (2230 N. Farwell Ave.): It’s hard to believe that this landmark Milwaukee movie house has been showing The Rocky Horror Picture Show for 42 years—the longest continuous showing of the film in the country! Celebrate with the cast of Sensual Daydreams for a midnight extravaganza. The show includes a Rocky Horror costume (and lingerie) contest.
Feb. 9—Rainbow Crosswalk Fundraiser at This Is It! (418 E. Wells St.): Harsh winters have damaged the rainbow crosswalk This Is It worked so hard to create. Let’s raise some cash to restore this new Milwaukee landmark! Make it a Sunday Funday from 3-6 p.m. while enjoying raffles, drag performances, drink specials and all the good times This Is It has always been known for.
Feb. 11—Chamber on Tap at Glass & Griddle (1130 N. Ninth St.): The Wisconsin LGBT Chamber of Commerce hosts this monthly happy hour (5:30-7 p.m.). Mix and mingle with likeminded business owners, professionals and chamber members. Free and open to the public (you’re on your own for cocktails), members can participate in the “Success in 60” business seminar an hour before the mixer.
Feb. 11—Debut of Mary’s Big Easy Pop-Up Bar at Mary’s Arcade (734 S. Fifth St.): The Big Easy comes to Brew City with two weeks of craziness. From New Orleans menu staples to NOLA cocktails, you’ll relish all the naughty fun Mardi Gras offers (without the airplane tickets)! The pop-up bar stays open until Feb. 25, so swing by and check it out.
Ask Ruthie a question or share your events with her at dearruthie@shepex.com. Follow her on Instagram @ruthiekeester and Facebook at Dear Ruthie. Now in its second season, her reality show, Camp Wannakiki, is available on YouTube.
