Dear Ruthie,
You know that song “Blue Christmas?” That’s what I’m having this year because I’m not speaking to my 4 besties. On Thanksgiving weekend, they had a fucking intervention, telling me I’m a hoe, and that I need to stop being such a slut, hooking up with so many random guys. They said they were telling me this only because they loved me and that they cared about me. They refuse to talk to me or hang out until I prove that I can stop sleeping around.
I say that it’s my private life and I can do what I want, and it really doesn’t concern them. Do I sleep around? Yes, I do. I love sex, and I’m not changing my ways anytime soon. I’m on PrEP, so it’s all cool. What can I say to them to fix things and get our friendship back on track?
Damn,
Horny Guy
Dear Holiday Horn Ball,
Thanks for the email. What? No dick pics? Clearly, you’re not the slut your friends claim you are. Listen, honey, I’m not here to judge, but your friends clearly care about you; they’re just looking out for you.
Think about what their concerns were and take an honest look at your sex life. Next, make the first move and contact them. Thank them for their caring and let them know you appreciate their concerns. Explain that you’ve given their words some serious thought, and that you’ve done some soul searching. You’re not sure what the future holds for you but remind them that everyone is a work in progress.
Assuming you begin to rebuild your friendships, remember to keep your private life private. No need to share any of your sex-capades with you friends. Keep your encounters to yourself, as hearing about them clearly bothers your buddies. I’m not saying you need to lie to them, but there is really no reason to kiss and tell. Control yourself around your buds when it comes to picking up playmates or discussing your affairs.
If, in the end, your friends can’t meet you in the middle, then you might want to find some nonjudgmental amigos who can completely accept you for the person you are.
Ruthie’s Social Calendar
Dec. 6—Milwaukee Coffee Connection at Wisconsin Humane Society (4500 W. Wisconsin Ave.): The Wisconsin LGBT Chamber of Commerce combines coffee and canines with this 8-9 a.m. social hour. The eye-opening coffee clutch gives you the chance to meet chamber members, network with local business owners and enjoy a hot cup of Joe.
Dec. 6—Trans Employees: Creating and Maintaining Respectful Workplaces at Hyatt Regency (333 W. Kilbourn Ave.): This insightful workshop focuses on supporting transgender, non-binary and gender-expansive employees in the workplace. The 9 a.m. course costs up to $100 and is designed for all Human Resources staff members, managers and executives at all levels, labor and employment attorneys, and anyone interested in making sure Wisconsin workplaces are inclusive of transgender employees. Register at forge-forward.org.
Dec. 7—A Christmas Carol: Raw at Westallion Brewing Company (1825 S. 72nd St.): Enjoy the Dickens classic like never before with this crazy adaptation; actors choose their roles from a hat, minutes before the show begins. It’s a 7 p.m. performance you won’t forget, because not only is it hilarious, but it takes place in a brewery—and there is no ticket charge! Yes, yes, you’re on your own for beverages, but who can turn down a free holiday show this time of year? “God bless us, everyone!”
Dec. 8—Intersectionality, Misogynoir & The White Gaze Workshop at Milwaukee Public Library (2320 N. Cramer St.): The team at SURJ MKE Events hosts this workshop that aims to deepen understandings of racial dynamics and oppression. Explore today’s terminology, power structures, privilege and oppression in our communities in order to approach change in a new light. The two-hour workshop is open to the public and begins at 10:30 a.m.
Dec. 8—Festivus for the Rest of Us at Brady Street: Neither rain, nor sleet, nor snow stops the party team on Brady Street! They’re ushering in the holiday season with this third annual run and bar hop. Register for the one-mile run or simply show up and hit the watering holes along Brady Street during this 3 p.m. festival. See the “Festivus” section of bradystreet.org for registration and more.
Dec. 9—Eat, Drink and Be Merry Party at Harbor Room (117 E. Greenfield Ave.): Join the boys of Harbor Room and the Argonauts of Wisconsin Leather/Levi social group as they host this yuletide bash. Shop the Leather64TEN booth, enter the Ugly Sweater Contest, enjoy a free buffet and take advantage of drink specials during the noon to 6 p.m. social.
Dec. 9—Krampusnacht Party at Kruz (354 E. National Ave.): Have you been a naughty boy? Join the other dirty boys and girls when Santa’s spooky counterpart invades this popular leather bar! The 3-7 p.m. bash includes raffles, a beer bust and more. Bring three hats, gloves or scarves to donate to the homeless, or dress as Krampus himself and you’ll get a few free raffle tickets!
Ask Ruthie a question and share your events at dearruthie@shepex.com. Follow her on Instagram @ruthiekeester and Facebook at Dear Ruthie.
