Here’s the thing: I lost an hour frommy life last Sunday, for the reason I’m supposing that now our farmers get anextra hour of daylight so’s to plow their fields of chemicalized crops, tolater be harvested, sliced and diced and cosmetically dicked with, then frozenand packaged along with some other stuff from somewheres into smallish plasticcontainers that feature a word like “lean” on the package, to be sold to thealready fat-ass red, white & blue grocery-market consumer who, dieteticallysecure in their health-conscious purchase of entrée, will reward themselves forgood behavior by supplementing the “lean” meal with a bag of focking potatochips the size of a middle-schooler’s sleeping bag and a cake of chocolateequal in circumference to the New Orleans Superdome. God bless America.
Anyways, yeah, I lost an hour lastSunday. And wouldn’t you know, it happened to be the one hour I had set asideto research, hone and slap together what should’ve been my hard-hittingnut/nutette grabbing essay for this week that would explain how one and all oughtto think and feel about the schmutz accrued by these politically current daysof time we be clocking.
I had thought to ponder upon Mr. GlennBeck of Focks News and his recent call for church-going Americans to high-tailfrom their place of worship if said place of worship entertained the notionthat economic and/or social justice might be a thing to consider as ahelping-hand to the out-of-luck downtrodden.
(“Glenn”? Those I’ve known to besaddled with that first name have gone by “Glen,” forgoing the double “n.” I’mguessing that in Mr. Beck’s situation, the extra “n” is attached as a codeletter by a left-wing conspiracy, perhaps to signify “nitwit,” or “nutbag,”ain’a?)
Apparently Herr “I want my countryback” Beck believes that economic and/or social justice are code words forcommunism and/or Nazism. Lordy. Social justice and the Nazis cooing as two inHitler’s Eagle’s Nest? Doubt it. In fact, I had never heretofore connectedNazism with the idea of “social justice.” I was curious to seek out a guy namedSaul, Ira or Julius “Groucho” Marx to see if they also had difficulty with thatconnection, what the fock.
Indeed, had I the time, I would’vecontemplated whether or not the name “Glenn Beck” was in fact the code name for“assassinate our Democrats,” “gas our Jews,” and “hang our Negroes”and what ofthe Michele Bachmannsss, the Rush Limbaughsss, the Bill Kristolss, the LizCheneysss, the Mitch McConnellsss, the Karl Rovesss, the Dick Armeysss, theScott Walkersss, as similar “code”?
Alas, the hour I had planned forpunditry clear thinking was snatched from me. So, what to do?
NCAA Basketball, that’s what, youbetcha. This weekend Our Town will play host to the first couple rounds of theBig Dance and so welcome, you collegiate fans, students, hangers-on and alumniof the Yellow Jackets, Buckeyes, Panthers, Grizzlies, Cowboys, Gauchos, Goldenfocking Gophers, Musketeers.
You’s people need to remember twothings as you visit Brew City. One: This is not New York, the City that NeverSleeps. This is Milwaukee, the City that Always Sweeps. So, after you puke yournacho-beer guts out on the sidewalk, be it on North Water Street or Old WorldThird Street, please mop up your messand that goes double for you’s knobshinecandy-asses from Columbus, O-focking-hiothank you. Two: Just so you know, thatany one of you eight-jag teams trying to make a basket at our beautiful BradleyCenter would-and-will get your student-athlete ass reamed but good if youshould come up against our Badgers or our Golden Eagles somewheres down theline. Book it.
And yeah, I filled out a bracket thisyear. Like always, I might’ve over-thunk it. Somehow I got Electoral Collegegoing up against Manpower Business Institute in the final with EC winning by amajority, what the fock ’cause I’m Art Kumbalek and I told youso.
