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“I’m depressed, but I don’t see that as a problem,” Larry told me.
“Fair enough. So, exactly how do you see it?” I asked.
“Are you paying attention to what’s happening in our world and with our species?” he fired back. “Well, if so and you aren’t depressed, you have a much thicker skin than yours truly.”
Pressured to visit me by concerned family, this 50-ish gentleman believed his depression constituted a normal response to the state of the world and the human condition. He’s not alone. An increasing number of mental health providers recognize that some folks who are depressed, agitated or suicidal represent “canaries” in our psychological coal mine. The premise is that feeling normal in a crazy world requires being mentally insulated from reality. Given that many folks struggling with depression are highly sensitive, they are more in tune than the “What, me worry?” crowd. Larry fit this pedigree.
“I care too much and can’t turn it off,” he explained. “I’ve tried to ignore what’s happening all around us and just stay focused on my own little corner of the world, but that’s not in my DNA.”
When we label someone “depressed,” the implication is that there is something wrong with him or her. We tell these folks that depression is abnormal, a disease of the brain, and, in so many words, encourage them to do something to fix themselves. Usually, this fixing consists of medication, psychotherapy, exercise, nutritional support and the rest. To be sure, there are some individuals whose depression arises largely from within, rather than in response to their external circumstances or the world in general. Many of these folks suffered emotional trauma as children, harbor a strong genetic predisposition to depression or struggle with brain chemistry running amok. Nonetheless, many so-called depressives are responding to what they see and experience in the world around them.
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“The planet is burning, our democracy is on life support, social media is ruining lives, then there are all the suicides, mass shootings, child abuse, homelessness, haters... do you need me to go on?” Larry continued.
I didn’t. His point was clear—that depression is a normal response to our collective madness, and that the problem was not in his mind but out there in the world itself.
“So, my family thinks I need to take a pill or go to therapy to get my head straight. But, from where I sit, my head is on straight. I’m seeing things as they are, and it ain’t pretty.”
A common counter argument applied to folks like Larry is that there’s nothing to gain in being miserable. From this perspective, even if the world seems on the eve of destruction, feeling sullen about it doesn’t change anything. It simply deprives the individual of a measure of happiness.
“Yeah, I’ve heard that line of reasoning before,” Larry added. “Well, maybe some people can flip a mental switch, practice denial and whistle a happy tune, but not this guy. As I see it, the more who stick their heads in the sand, the worse it’s going to get.”
I didn’t encourage Larry to put on a happy face and look at the bright side, which seemed a fool’s errand. However, I did suggest that, in addition to feeling bad about all the mayhem in the world, he might also notice that many people face adversity with courage and persistence, that sometimes the worst brings out our best. That says something about our species, as well.
Helen Keller, who became deaf and blind while only 19 months old, said, “Although the world is full of suffering, it is also full of the overcoming of it.”
Maybe Larry and those like him can find something to feel good about in that.
For more, visit philipchard.com.
