Sweating the Small Stuff

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You’ve doubtless heard the adage, “Don’t sweat the small stuff.”

But, most often, it’s an accumulation of these little irritants that pushes one over the mental edge. Sure, life can back up the existential dump truck and pull the lever on us anytime, but usually, it’s the drip, drip, drip of minor aggravations that leads to losing it.

Not that long ago, many sources of this drip effect weren’t around, so not sweating the small stuff was far easier. Today, the complex, technology-based, networked, machine-driven interdependence that characterizes much of modern life is the source of this escalating hassle factor. The following example may resonate with your own experience:

When parking at one of those self-serve lots where you pay with a credit card and the machine prints a receipt to place on your dashboard, I completed the transaction only to be told (by the display) that it was out of paper. Translation? It couldn’t print my required receipt. So, I scribbled a few details on a scrap of paper, placed it in on my dash and hoped for the best. You guessed it. I got a ticket with a notice to pay a hefty fine.

Next, I had to call someone, which meant untold time on hold, followed by speaking with a customer rep (this is a misnomer—they rarely represent the consumer) who read some script about how I had to contact my credit card company and obtain written proof that I actually paid up. No, they couldn’t verify that for me even though their machine recorded the transaction. While this straw did not break my back, it bowed it. So, I replied that, no, I would not contact my credit card company and, if they sent me to collection for their fine, I’d see them in small claims court.

Emotionally Hijacked

Afterward, I chastised myself for becoming emotionally hijacked and rude to the poor soul on the other end of the line. In most instances, these are well-meaning folks trying to make a buck who are equally frustrated with the rigid, tedious scripts they must repeatedly recite. And there are exceptions when one really does receive good customer care, which, when present, helps de-stress those who have reached their daily limit of “Nothing works!”

Regardless of my whining, it illustrates an unhappy point. In the world of so-called modern conveniences, the slightest transaction can result in major consternation, lost time and a complex solution, if any. Granted, in the great scheme of one’s life, such annoyances are minor, constituting the proverbial small stuff of that “don’t sweat it” adage. But as the maxim about breaking the camel’s back suggests, a sufficient volume of minor annoyances can translate into a major strain.

For one, if these little hassles occur often enough, they constitute a steady and corrosive stream of stress. Sure, when faced with a few speed bumps, many of us can chill, but if these become a persistent rumble strip, only the most laid back among us can remain unruffled. Don’t count me among them. Speaking of which, regarding that ticket, I dug in my heels rather than contact my credit card company to fix their error, wrote a scathing email in reply to their threatening messages (after all, they got their money), and, following additional back-and-forth, got them to relent and leave me alone. All this time, energy and consternation over a few bucks. But, for me, as they say, it was the principle of the thing.

It is this steady drizzle of small stuff that robs us of time, a precious and non-renewable resource, creating the feeling that one must hurry, a mindset highly correlated with anger. It also reduces one’s sense of control, generating a feeling of being messed with by impersonal forces, which they usually are. And, sadly, it reinforces the admittedly over-the-top perception that nothing ever works as it should. Cynicism (hear any of that in my tone?) soon follows.

What to do? There are no glib answers, but the next time some machine decides to mess with me, I’m going to do the mature and rational thing.     I’m going to kick the microchips out of it.

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