Breast and Nipple Play

I've heard that there is a new boob sex technique for a man and a woman. Although I assume that it involves genital to breast contact, I can't imagine what this "new" technique might be. Have you heard of this? While we are on the topic, what kind of sex toys are there for boobs anyways?

I'm not aware of any new kinds of boob sex, although there are two classics that might fit your description. The first involves rubbing a man's penis in between a woman's breasts. This is usually accomplished by a woman pushing her breasts together while her partner sits astride her abdomen and thrusts his penis in and out of her cleavage. Alternatively, a man can sit with his legs apart while a woman kneels in front of him and moves her smushed-together breasts up and down his shaft. This is a popular move because it presents a great visual to both partners and is relatively low-risk for sexually transmitted infections, plus it feels sexy and dirty to many people. Like most kinds of sex, titty-pumping will feel better if either the breasts or the penis in question are nicely lubricated. If you aren't going to engage in any other kinds of sexual activities (e.g. no penis-vagina, penis-mouth or penis-anus contact afterwards), you can use an oil-based lubricant, which feels extra-good to some people.

The second involves ejaculating on the breasts after some other kind of sexual activity. When a man feels that he's about to ejaculate while receiving oral sex or engaging in vaginal or anal penetration, he might pull out and choose to come instead on his partner's breasts-kind of like giving someone a pearl necklace, but a little further to the south. Again, many people find this erotic because of the visual "money shot" it provides. I would advise that men let their partners know ahead of time that they want to do this-some women aren't fond of being surprised by sticky semen where they weren't expecting it. Both of these moves work with any size breasts, although women who are on the smaller side may find that the kneeling position during breast-penis rubbing gives them a bit more to work with.

Readers, are there any novel positions that you know of that involve breast-genital contact? If so, post your comments online or e-mail them to me at laura@shepex.com. I'll print a follow-up column if I get some good ones.

As for the second part of your question about toys, the best ones are often the most simple-your lips, tongue and fingers. People of all genders can have responsive nipple and breast tissue that feels good when stimulated, so everything below may apply to men, women and transgender people (although ask before playing, since some people can be very sensitive about having their breasts/chests touched).

Sucking, licking, blowing on, gently rubbing, tweaking, pinching or even biting nipples and breasts can feel good either as foreplay or during some other kind of sexual activity. Many people find nipple stimulation very arousing, and some can even have an orgasm from nipple play alone. Some folks have extremely sensitive nipples and some don't, so be careful about giving a strong pinch until you know your partner's limits. To spice up oral breast/chest play, put an ice cube in your mouth, or alternately, take a sip of hot mint tea.

Breast play is perfect for all those tasty erotic treats like flavored oils, body dust or chocolate body paint. Ice cream, frosting, whipped cream and other items from your pantry can also be fun, and just as with oil-based lubes, you can use things on your chest and nipples that would be unsafe or unpleasant to use genitally. If you or your partner has pierced nipples, avoid strongly scented or flavored products, since they can cause irritation, and be sure to wash piercings after play with a mild, scent-free soap.

Vibrators can be used on nipples and breasts to great effect, especially small, versatile bullet vibes. Just a small touch on or around nipples with a vibe can produce an intense sensation. Some people like playing with nipple clamps, both for their visual effect and the sensation they produce (you can also get vibrating nipple clamps and have the best of both worlds!). Nipple clamps come in many styles, all of which pinch the nipple in between the two arms or jaws of the clamp. A good style for beginners are rubber-tipped tweezer clamps; the pinch of these can be adjusted from mild to fairly intense by sliding a metal ring further away from or closer to the tip of the clamps. Clamps can come with chains connecting them, which allow you or your partner to tug gently on both clamps at the same time, or they can come with beads, bells or connections to collars or cock rings to create beautiful erotic jewelry. The most important thing to know about nipple clamps is that the strongest sensations come after you take the clamps off. While the clamps are on, they have a numbing effect on the nipples, and when they're removed, all that sensation comes flooding back and can be quite painful! Even if the pinch of the clamps itself doesn't feel very strong, go gentle at first so that you aren't setting yourself up for the worst case of pins-and-needles you've ever had in your life once you remove them.

Want Laura to answer your questions in SEXpress? Send them to laura@shepex.com. Not all questions received will be answered in the column, and Laura cannot provide personal answers to questions that do not appear here. Questions sent to this address may be reproduced in this column, both in print and online, and may be edited for clarity and content.

Laura Anne Stuart has a master's degree in public health and has worked as a sexuality educator for more than a decade. She owns the Tool Shed, an erotic boutique on Milwaukee's East Side.