My husband and I have been toying with me ejaculating off and on for a while, and it finally happened. It’s a strange feeling, and it’s not good or bad, just kind of pressure. The first time, I had a clitoral orgasm and then immediately ejaculated. This instance was better than the second time: no clitoral orgasm, I still squirted, but not as much relief. Does the sensation get more heightened? Is each new incident stimulating the G-spot, or does it somehow become conditioned to be more sensitive? Why do I feel like my pee is weird afterwards...not painful, just different?
When I teach classes about the G-spot and female ejaculation, I emphasize that it may not be something that everyone enjoys. There’s a lot of hype about female ejaculation—in porn and women’s magazines, especially—that make it seem like female ejaculation is a life-changing experience. For some people, it may be, and I encourage anyone who is interested to experiment, like you and your husband are doing. However, everyone’s body is different. Some people may find ejaculation to be an indifferent or even an unpleasant sensation, and that doesn’t necessarily mean you’re doing anything incorrectly.
As with any sexual activity, female ejaculation can improve with practice. Our first attempts at any new type of sex (oral stimulation, anal penetration, vaginal penetration, kinky play, you name it) are usually filled with a bit of fumbling and guesswork. It’s possible that as you learn more about what types of stimulation cause ejaculation and how they feel, you may find the sensation to be more intense and pleasurable. You may also find that ejaculation just doesn’t live up to the hype for you. Keep experimenting as long as it feels fun and pleasurable for you, but don’t make it a chore or an obligation. It’s OK not to like something!
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Many people find that stimulating the G-spot is the easiest way to ejaculate. There are some folks who ejaculate through clitoral stimulation alone, but this seems to be less common. Strengthening your PC (pubococcygeus) muscle, which is the muscle that contracts during orgasm and also controls the flow of fluids through the urethra, can help with ejaculatory control, so if you are interested in trying to ejaculate without G-spot stimulation, I’d suggest doing PC muscle exercises. Some people find that they can “push” ejaculate out through the urethra by contracting these muscles after they become aroused.
Because ejaculate flows through the urethra, just like urine, it may feel different when you pee after ejaculating. Unless urination is difficult or painful, this isn’t anything to worry about.
Laura Anne Stuart owns the Tool Shed, an erotic boutique on Milwaukee’s East Side. She has a master’s degree in public health and has worked as a sexuality educator for more than fifteen years. Want Laura to answer your questions in SEXPress? Send them to laura@shepex.com. Not all questions received will be answered in the column, and Laura cannot provide personal answers to questions that do not appear here. Questions sent to this address may be reproduced in this column, both in print and online, and may be edited for clarity and content.
