As regular readers know, two of the topics that I most frequently answer questions about are the G-spot and female ejaculation. There’s still a lot of mystery and misinformation out there about this area of our anatomy; in fact, I stopped using an otherwise-excellent book in my teaching this year because of the inaccurate information it contained about the G-spot. This week, I ask Deborah Sundahl, one of the foremost educators on this topic, why she thinks this is the case.
LAS: You've been teaching about the G-spot and female ejaculation for quite a while. How has the response to your work changed over the past 20 years?
DS: Female ejaculation [has been] sweeping the bedrooms of the Western world in the last few years, which is gratifying and exciting to witness. While I was writing my book [Female Ejaculation and the G-Spot] in 2002, I started to get questions from individuals and couples wanting to know, “How do I do this?” Before that time, it was only scientists and a small group of interested others who tirelessly debated the existence of the G-spot. The general populace could care less about the science; they just wanted to do it! I knew right then that the tide was finally changing. Once women have the experience of an awakened G-spot and female ejaculation, there is no debate.
LAS: There are still researchers who claim that the G-spot doesn't exist or authors who attack your teaching that the G-spot is analogous to the male prostate. Why do you think there's such resistance to the acceptance of the G-spot's existence?
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DS: Because the number of women who are learning to ejaculate is increasing exponentially by the month, the debate has actually quieted to a whisper now. In fact, to say the G-spot doesn't exist now is to invite scorn. For example, when the horrible twins study from Cambridge, England, came out in December 2009, saying that twins could not feel their G-spots, you could virtually hear the boos of women in America and Europe rise up, because so many women are living the experience of their alive and fully functioning G-spot and overflowing feminine fountain. So, that study was like telling them they don't have noses on their faces and can only breathe through their mouths; women laughed and dismissed it.
The G-spot is the female prostate. All women have one, as do all men. Female ejaculation is prostatic fluid and all women can ejaculate if they want to. Having been trained in feminism in the early 1980s at the University of Minnesota, I think the story of the female prostate is about as feminist as it gets: missing body parts; lies, secrets and silences; a lifein this case sexuallived only to half its potential. Wonderful feminist stuff!
LAS: What can you tell us about your upcoming projects?
DS: I [currently] lecture in Europe and America and give weekend workshops for couples and for women only to help them see, find and feel their G-spots. What does that mean? First of all, we can SEE our G-spots, so women get the empowering and unique opportunity to see the literal heart of their sexuality! Then, women find their G-spot in their body and hook that physical feeling up with the visual, so women leave the workshop knowing exactly where their G-spot is.
The last piece is “feeling” the G-spot. Most women's partners are right on her G-spot, but she is not feeling anything! Men understand clearly the ultra-sensitivity of the prostate, so what is going on with women that they can't even feel their G-spots? Well, one can learn to ejaculate almost overnight, but reawakening the sensations of their G-spot can take a while. It is basically numbed out due to the way we make love in Western culture, which is to be unnecessarily rough with this organ.
Want Laura to answer your questions in SEXpress? Send them to laura@shepex.com. Not all questions received will be answered in the column, and Laura cannot provide personal answers to questions that do not appear here. Questions sent to this address may be reproduced in this column, both in print and online, and may be edited for clarity and content.
Laura Anne Stuart has a master’s degree in public health and has worked as a sexuality educator for more than a decade. She owns the Tool Shed, an erotic boutique on Milwaukee’s East Side.
