Wait, What?
■ In October in Gresham, Ore., a 21-year-old man openly carrying a handgun he had just bought was robbed, at gunpoint, the same day. According to the police report, the robber apparently thought the victim’s gun was nicer than his own: “I like your gun. Give it to me.”
■ New World Order: In September, Dr. Sean Perry of the Marathon (Florida) Veterinary Hospital saved the life of Buttercup, an orange tabby who needed blood—by giving him a transfusion from a West Palm Beach dog blood bank. According to the U.S. National Library of Medicine, 62 cats have been known to receive such “xenotransfusions,” and cats are apparently the only animals (besides dogs) that can safely process dog blood.
Leading Economic Indicators
The former chairman of the Federal Reserve, Ben Bernanke, revealed at an October conference in Chicago that even though his post-government income will be several times what he earned as Fed chairman, he was nonetheless rejected recently when he tried to refinance his Washington, D.C., home. Mortgage lending is so highly computerized, he was told, dictated by formulas, that he apparently got caught in an algorithm. Despite a probably seven-figure book contract and six-figure public speeches, he is no longer “employed” in a steady job, which apparently caused a computer program to flag him as too risky.
Cries for Help
■ Victor Thompson, 46, arrested in St. Petersburg, Fla., in October for possession of the synthetic marijuana called Master Kush Spice (which he insisted is legal in his native New Hampshire), is apparently an out-of-control New England Patriots fan—having tattooed his entire bald head with a painstaking replica of quarterback Tom Brady’s helmet. The attention to detail on the authentic design and colors is remarkable, including subtle add-ons such as the American flag, NFL logo and helmet manufacturer (“Riddell”). Not only is Brady’s “12” properly placed, so is the green dot identifying the “helmet” as radio-ready for messages from the sideline.
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■ Police in Minneapolis arrested Nicholas Mullenmaster, 38, in October as the man who inexplicably flushed nails and other pieces of metal down toilets of several restaurants since August, causing “thousands of dollars” in damage. In most incidents, two to three pounds of nails clogged the toilets, requiring plumbing repair charges of up to $1,000 each, but at one Starbucks, a wall had to be removed. Although witnesses and surveillance video seemed to identify Mullenmaster as the culprit, he denied any involvement, and thus no motive for the toilet attacks has emerged.
■ A Duck with Issues: After days of looking weary and walking lopsidedly, “Ducka,” the pet muscovy, finally gave owner Vicki Hicks of Sydney, Australia, a clue to its behavior by coughing up a nail. Veterinarian Hamish Baron of the Avian Reptile and Exotic Animal Hospital ordered an X-ray, which revealed a small toolbox’s worth of nails, screws and washers in Ducka’s belly. The items had to be removed, one by one, in surgeries totaling five hours. Dr. Baron told Sydney’s Daily Telegraph in October that though birds are attracted to shiny objects, Ducka’s case was severe.
A News of the Weird Classic (February 2010)
Unless Stephen Gough, 50, changes his mind about wearing pants, he risks spending the rest of his life behind bars, according to a January (2010) ruling of Scotland’s Perth Sheriff's Court. Gough, Britain’s “naked rambler,” is a freelance nudist who for years has roamed U.K. countrysides, interrupted by numerous jail stints for violating public decency. He was released from Perth Prison in December (2009) after his latest stay, but seconds later shucked his clothes and was re-arrested. (In his most recent trial before that, Gough acted as his own lawyer and somehow persuaded an overly fair judge to let him be naked in court.) (Update: Gough has remained in character, having spent almost every day since this story was published incarcerated for violating a series of anti-social behavior orders requiring him to wear clothes in public.)
© 2014 CHUCK SHEPHERD
