Some Japanese citizens have become obsessedwith Love Plus, a Nintendo DS dating simulation that presents them with ayoung, attractive, mouthy, digital "girlfriend" who begs forattention. The touch-screen lover demands to hold hands, kiss and have sweetnothings whispered in her ear. How can men so easily become addicted to suchvicarious experiences, you ask? According to one player, going by the name of"Koh," writing at the Boing Boing Web site, it "comes down tothe fact that men are simple." (In December, Reuters reported thatJapanese player “SAL9000” held a marriage ceremony in Tokyoin front ofreal-live people, he “married” his Love Plus girlfriend. Prior to the ceremony,the man reportedly took his digital lover on a vacation to Guam.)
Obsessions
Unless Stephen Gough, 50, changes his mindabout his decision to not wear pants, he risks spending the rest of his lifebehind bars, according to a January ruling of Scotland's Perth Sheriff Court. Gough,known as Britain's"naked rambler," is a free-lance nudist who has roamed the United Kingdomcountryside for years, though his travels have been interrupted by numerousjail stints for violating public decency. He was released from Perth Prison inDecember after his latest stay, but seconds later shucked his clothes and wasre-arrested. At his most recent trial, Gough acted as his own lawyer andpersuaded the judge to let him be naked in court.
Least Competent Criminals
(1) Shane Williams-Allen, 19, was arrested in Tavares, Fla.,in January and charged with burglarizing an unmarked police car and stealingseveral items, including handcuffs and a Taser gun. Eventually, Williams-Allencalled the police for help after he accidentally cuffed himself. Officers saidhe also accidentally Tasered himself in the foot. (2) In January, police in Oakland, Calif.,were conducting a manhunt for suspects allegedly involved in a home invasion.Police called off their search when officers encountered four men wedged betweentwo buildings they had unsuccessfully tried to squeeze through during theirescape.
Recurring Themes
The Whole Truth and Nothing But: Last August,an applicant for the police force in Montgomery, Ala., following directions to betruthful during the job interview, admitted that he owned child pornography.Instead of being hired, he was arrested. In January, 170 miles to the south inPensacola, Fla., another law-enforcement applicant, Clarence Burnette, 25,admitted to owning child pornographyduring his interview to become a sheriff'sdeputy. Similarly, instead of being hired, he was arrested. (The Montgomery applicant, whoalso confessed to having sex with an underage girl, is now serving 30 years inprison.)
Latest Religious Messages
In December, televangelist Rod Parsley informed his flock that heurgently needed several million dollars because of financial problemsattributed directly to Satan. According to a report in The Columbus (Ohio)Dispatch, Parsley's World Harvest Churchwas facing a $3 million deficit for the quarter ending in December. Earlier inthe year, the church had to pay a $3.1 million settlement because a 2-year-oldboy reportedly received cuts and welts during a spanking at its day-carecenter. Wrote Parsley, "Will you help me take back what the devilstole?"
A Montana-based sect is fighting to remain viable, six months after thedeath of its "Mother," the Jesus-channeling Elizabeth Clare Prophet.Several aspirants have tried to claim her mantle, but the sect's council of eldersdeclared them all to be charlatans, and membership rolls have dwindled. Thechurch was similarly challenged in 1990, when “Mother” forecast nucleardoomsday and financed the construction of large underground bunkers (which arestill available) on a mountainside north of Yellowstone National Park. Thecouncil is also having trouble with finding volunteers to transcribe the 22,000hours of video and audio in which “Mother” set out the justifications for thesect.
Questionable Judgments
- Only four days after the January earthquake hit Port-au-Prince, Haiti,two Royal Caribbean cruise ships made a port call at a private enclave about 60miles up Haiti's coastline. The ships turned loose hundreds of frolickers for"jet ski rides, parasailing and rum cocktails delivered to theirhammocks," according to a report in London'sThe Guardian. Guards employed by thecruise line manned the resort's 12-foot-high fences. (Reportedly, some of thepassengers declined to leave the ships because they were too upset by theunfolding disaster to enjoy themselves.) Royal Caribbeansaid it had made a large donation to the rescue effort and promised to sendproceeds from the port's thriving craft stores.
- The Need for Parental Licensing: In January, as punishment for her 12-year-oldson's bad grade in school, a Warm Springs, Ga., mother allegedly forced the boy to clubhis pet hamster to death with a hammer. Lynn Middlebrooks Geter, 38, wasarrested after the kid told his teacher, who called the state children'sservices agency.
© 2010 Chuck Shepherd
