According to a May report by Seattle'sKOMO-TV, former Oregon National Guard soldier Gary Pfleider II is awaiting theresults of his latest appeal to end the garnishment of his disability checks tocover $3,175 for gear he supposedly "lost" when he was shot in Iraq.Pfleider was hit in the leg by a sniper in 2007, bled profusely and wasevacuated (and currently is awaiting his ninth surgery on the leg), but theOregon National Guard apparently believes that, despite the trauma, Pfleidershould have paused to inventory the equipment he was carrying and makearrangements for its safekeeping during his imminent hospitalization.
Can't Possibly Be True
- To ease the crowds entering the Texas Capitol building in Austin,officials recently opened an "express" line that allows selectvisitors and personnel to bypass most security precautions. Obviously, membersof the Legislature use the express line, along with Capitol employees who haveproper ID. A third category of select visitors is more surprising, however:anyone with a Texasconcealed-weapons carry permit. The HoustonChronicle reported in June that lobbyists frustrated with the long securitylines have been applying for concealed-weapons permits just to be able to usethe express line.
- Though he reportedly coughs more frequently lately, 2-year-old ArdiRizal of Musi Banyuasin, Indonesia, continues to smoke two packs of cigarettesa day, according to a May dispatch in London's Daily Mail and other news reports. Local officials offered Ardi'sparents a new car if they convinced him to quit, but the mother warned that herson throws massive, head-banging tantrums if deprived of his smokes, and hisfisherman father, noting Ardi's generous girth, says the kid looks fine to him.(Unfortunately for the parents, Ardi prefers only a certain high-end brand,which costs the equivalent of about $2.75 a pack.)
A Sucker Is Born
- The New Living Expo in San Francisco in May showcased such"healthy-living" breakthroughs as a $1,200 machine promising to sucktoxins out of your body; a $249 silver amulet to protect you from"deadly" cell phone radiation; and a $15,000 TurboSonic if your redblood cells need to be "de-clumped." A Canadian study at the sametime found that 97% of people who admitted buying "anti-aging"products did not think they would work but nevertheless confessed their need tohopelike those who "hope" the viper-venom-derived $525 Euoko Y-30Intense Lift Concentrate will prolong their lives.
- Recurring Theme: Once again, there is a larger question at hand in thecase of "swindling psychics." In Portland, Ore.,"psychic" Cathy Stevens managed to separate Drakar Druella, 42, from$150,000 (which Stevens needed, allegedly, to cure Druella's "negative energy").The larger question is how a man so totally lacking in street smarts managed toamass $150,000 to begin with. Druella attempted to explain Stevens' allure."She could cry [at] will,” he said. “She becomes what you want and needher to be."
Armed and Clumsy
In this latest collection of men whoaccidentally shot themselves, private parts were the center of attention.University of Illinois campus police officer Bryan Mallin accidentally shothimself in the butt while shopping in Chicago (March), and Timothy Davis, 22,digging through a drawer in Fort Myers, Fla., last October, also accidentallyshot himself in the butt. Four other men (a shopper at a Lowe's HomeImprovement store in Lynnwood, Wash., a 17-year-old in Vallejo, Calif.,20-year-old Jeffrey Disney in Hamilton, Ohio, and 50-year-old David Blurton inDillon, Colo.) accidentally shot themselves in what for men is their mostcherished spot.
People With Issues
At her arraignment in Missoula,Mont., in April, Jackiya Ford, 37, refused toenter a plea to various fraud charges because, she explained, "Montana" is not alegal entity. According to the prosecutor, after Ford was shown a house forsale by a local agent, she tried to cut out the middleman by filing anownership claim to the house and all the land within 20 miles of it (shegenerously offered to sell it to the legal owner for $900,000, though only ifshe was paid in "silver or gold"). Armed with her fraudulentownership document, she broke into the home and posted a no-trespassing sign (theonly visitors allowed: people authorized by "our Lord and SaviorYahushua").
© 2010 Chuck Shepherd
