Team Who Gives a F#$@!?

I don’t ask a lot out of life. I really don’t. Sure I’m abroke college kid on the brink of graduation where I will receive my overpriceddegree in English Professional Writing and be thrown in the scary world ofloans and babies, but I’m getting by. Sometimes I think about how nice it wouldbe to drive something other than a ’97 mini van, but then I give myself areality check and live with the fact I look like a soccer mom…or a pedophile.

But I do have one small request of the world. It’s nothingbig or demanding. I just ask that everyone stop making Twilight referencesbecause I DON’T GET THEM! Who is Edward and why the hell should I be a part ofhis team? Vampires. Really? Really?

As long as we are on the subject, can we put a moratorium onreferences in the classroom too? It’s bad enough that I have to hear how Belladoes this or that when I’m waiting in lines or making work conversation, but Idraw the line when you compare Forks, Washington to 19^th centuryEngland. (The only reason I know some of these details is because I looked themup on Wikipedia. That’s right. I care so little about the topic, I’m trustingWikipedia.)

So world, just lay off me. I don’t mind when you sing Fergieat the top of your lungs outside my bedroom window at four in the morning. Igenerally don’t even care when you fellas feel the need to ask me if I have aboyfriend. (Which I don’t, wink, wink.) But for my sanity, please just stoptrying to relate Twilight to everything from politics to communism in Russia.Seriously.