Why would you ever want to review Barnacle Bud's?" asked a curious friend. "There isn't much on the menu." Well, the menu isn't large and the food is far from exceptional. But Barnacle Bud's is in its own way a Milwaukee classic. First off, it's difficult to find, just like Wolski's or the Safe House. Barnacle Bud's is near the intersection of Kinnickinnic and Becher, and the street it's on turns into an industrial alley. Keep driving past the warehouses. If you see a group of parked cars you have found it. Secondly, there is the setting. The interior-just six tables and a small bar-is filled with nautical bric-a-brac of all kinds. The best amenity, especially at this time of the year, is the outdoor deck on the Kinnickinnic River, which more than doubles the seating capacity as well as adds a second bar. The view is very Edward Hopper with the occasional grain elevator, 19th-century warehouses and crumbling cement walls. From the deck, greenery can be seen in the form of box elders and wildlife from the circling seagulls.
Barnacle Bud's is an oasis that seems far from the traffic of I-94. Now pick a seat. Indoor tables have real chairs; for those outside, pic nic benches will do. The menus, napkins and condiments are in galva nized metal pails. At least the flatware is not plastic. Don't count on a good wine list! The most prominent appetizer is the crab cake ($7.95), touted as "Best in the City of Milwaukee." It's big, as large as one of the burgers, but it's also starchy. The chopped onion is an unwelcome filler. I have had better and I have had worse. A sauce the color of remoulade could be called a cayenne mayo and packs a peppery punch. The creamy cabbage slaw has celery seeds. Order onion rings ($3.95) only if you want the thick pre-breaded ones found in chain restaurants.
Entrees include soup or salad. Soup is the best bet. The roasted vegetable is fine with car rot, celery, onion and even portabella mushrooms in a dark broth with hints of black pep per. The salad is simplicity itself, lettuce with a few commercial croutons, slices of red onion and a fine dust of cheese. The dressings are strictly from the bottle.
Entrees? The barbeque ribs ($11.95-$16.95) are pleasant enough, with a sweet dark sauce and meat that falls off the bone. Note that the small portion is a half stack, not a half rack, and is intended for a light appetite. Grouper ($15.95) is always tempting to order. Here it's offered with Cajun or jerk seasonings. What arrived was a fillet with the char marks from a grill and no evidence of any seasoning at all. Like the ribs, adequate fries are included, as well as assorted fresh vegetables cooked beyond any vestige of freshness.
The safest bets are the pastas. Billy B's pasta, offered with chicken ($11.95), shrimp ($13.95) or grouper ($14.95), is prepared with artichoke
hearts, green and black olives, bell peppers and the simple flavors of gar lic and basil. A piece of good garlic toast adds the right touch. Also recom mended is the shrimp scampi ($14.95), shelled and in a garlicky butter sauce. The mixed grill ($16.95) adds jumbo sea scallops and pieces of grouper to the shrimp.
Naturally there is a Friday fish fry and a Sunday brunch with pleasant ly low prices. The staff is friendly and the kitchen is efficient. Visit Barnacle Bud's in a casual frame of mind and do sit outdoors, weather permitting. This is simple food in a modest setting. And remember, only a handful of local restaurants offer boat parking!
BARNACLE BUD'S 1955 S. Hilbert St. (414) 481-9974 $-$$ Credit cards: MC, VS Smoking: Yes Handicapped access: Yes
