Sometimes, a bit of common sense goes a long way. Maybe folks are so busy today that they can’t see the forest through the trees. Perhaps we’ve complicated life to the point that we overlook obvious solutions. We’ve possibly come to rely so heavily on social media and digital communication that we’ve forgotten how to handle uneasy face-to-face situations. Regardless, I’ve been holding on to a few messages from my fellow Milwaukeeans who seem to need a common sense alert!
Dear Ruthie,
How do I politely ask my friend to stop messaging silly memes, photos and GIFs?
(Signed)
Mean Mimi Meme
Dear Mimi,
Politely ask your friend to stop messaging silly memes, photos and GIFs.
Dear Ruthie,
What do you do with a roommate who doesn’t pay his half of the rent, eats my food, doesn’t clean up after himself and leaves me to pay the utilities because he knows I’ll pay them, so they’re not turned off?
Help me,
Broken Joe
Dear Joe,
I’m sure you’re a great guy, but it’s time to grow a pair! Move out or kick that loser to the curb. Then, enjoy your new life with your new pair of ’nads, sugar booger.
Dear Ruthie,
My pinky toe is changing color. It started with the nail (now black), worked down to the skin right below the nail (now a light green) and is spreading to the rest of the toe (now a deep yellow). Any idea what it might be? What should I do to take care of it?
Luv Ya,
Rainbow Toe
Dear Yucky,
What should you do? Hmmm....here’s an idea: Go to the doctor! Jesus H. Christ! What are you waiting for? Your nasty-ass foot is making me sick all the way over here in Cudahy, and you haven’t thought to haul that diseased hoof over to the doctor’s office? Damn! Unless you’re holding on to that foot to help others induce vomiting, take your terrifying toe to the doctor before it falls off! Geez!
Ruthie’s Social Calendar
May 16—Dining with the Divas: Thursday Edition at Hamburger Mary’s (730 S. Fifth St.): Due to popular demand the pink and purple burger palace is adding another installment of its drag show to Thursday nights. Seating begins at 6 p.m. for the 7:30 p.m. show. Those with reservations get top seating options, so call 414-488-2555 and save your spot.
May 16—LGBT Wednesdays at Trio (1023 Old World Third St.): Local femme fatale, Lady Gia, hosts this weekly 10 p.m. drag show featuring top drag-show directors from around the city. Afterward, the floor is open for dancing, while you sip drink specials all night. Not your scene? Head to the third floor for a rooftop party that’ll beat the hell out of your hump day blues.
May 16—Opening Night of ‘The 25th Annual Putnam County Spelling Bee’ at Next Act Theatre (255 S. Water St.): Under the direction of Mitch Weindorf, the team at All In Productions presents this delightful musical comedy. Don’t miss this hilarious story of six pre-pubescent competitors in the county spelling bee when the laugh-out-loud show runs through May 25. Visit nextact.org for tickets; there are discounts available for students and seniors.
May 18—Courage House Rummage Sale at Courage MKE (1544 S. Sixth St.): There have been so many wonderful, heartfelt donations recently to the Courage House, the team is unable to use them all! So, why not give back to the community? Sales from the rummage sale will benefit the community that surrounds the house. Swing by and find some treasures during the 8 a.m. to 4 p.m. sale.
May 18—Purrlesque: A Benefit for Urban Cat Coalition at Club Anything (807 S. Fifth St.): Milwaukee’s favorite burlesque stars are showing their titties for kitties during this feline fundraiser. Your $10 door charge ($5 if you include a bag of cat food or kitty litter) gets you in on the 9 p.m. fun. You’ll get a rise out of the naughty burlesque show, kissing and spanking booth, raffles and more, all to help Urban Cat Coalition! After all, saving pussies is the cat’s meow!
May 19—Walker’s Point Mini Putt-Putt Open at Various Locations: Get ready for a good time when you hit the bars in Walker’s Point for an afternoon of fun. Bar hopping gets a hole-in-one makeover when putt-putt teams take over from noon to 6 p.m. Register a team (at the Facebook event page) or hit the bars for a crazy-good time. The award ceremony (open to the public) is at Fat Daddy’s at 6 p.m.
May 19—‘Miss This Is It Pageant’ at This Is It! (418 E. Wells St.): Who will be crowned the first Miss This Is It? Find out when one of the city’s favorite LGBTQ watering holes hands out its first tiara. Doors open at 7 p.m., with the pageant starting at 8 p.m. I’ll be there, so swing by the judges’ table and say “hi” before the glitz, glam and good times begin.
May 22—Milwaukee Chamber on Tap Party at Café Hollander (2608 N. Downer Ave.): the Wisconsin LGBT Chamber of Commerce brings its monthly happy hour to Downer Avenue this month. Rub elbows with the movers and shakers on the scene as you enjoy cocktails, a quick presentation and more. The event runs 5-7 p.m. and is open to all.
Ask Ruthie a question or share your events with her at dearruthie@shepex.com. Follow her on Instagram @ruthiekeester and Facebook at Dear Ruthie.
