Dear Ruthie,
I’ve having sexual fantasies where I’m being somewhat abused by a group of men. I’m getting close to making this fantasy a reality, but I can’t shake the feeling that, in doing so, I’m putting myself in danger. Should I suck it up and make the fantasy come true and hope that nothing harmful will happen to me, or am I acting crazy and truly putting myself at risk to be hurt, robbed, etc.?
What Do You Think? Gary Gang Banger
Dear Slut,
Your message doesn’t go into specifics where your fantasy is concerned, but I think I got the general picture (and it’s a messy one). That said, I can’t truly assess the harm you may be putting yourself in; however, you might want to pump the breaks on this for a bit.
You have an intuition for a reason, honey. If your gut is telling you this isn’t a good idea, that’s a good sign to rethink your plans. I noticed that you didn’t say the fantasy made you feel nervous, self-conscious or guilty. You said it made you feel as though you were “in danger,” and that’s not a good sign. Listen to your gut here, doll face. When your gut is telling you that something is “off” or that it’s a bad situation to be in, then go with that feeling and listen to what your body is telling you.
Remember that fantasies are just that. They are not all meant to come true, particularly when they might lead to harming someone—including you! This isn’t to say that, eventually, you may find a safe, healthy way to make your naughty dreams come true, but for now, listen to your gut, sugar.
Dear Ruthie,
My husband and I are recent empty nesters. I want to downsize, sell our large house and move into something smaller. He does not. How can we meet in the middle?
Have a Good Day, Mamma Hen
Dear Mom,
I’m not sure how you can meet in the middle but start by going shopping—house shopping! Decide what your budget would be for a new home, then spend a day seeing what your money would buy (and where). You might be surprised (i.e. disappointed) at your options, or you might be excited by the new possibilities. Ask him to give this exercise a shot. If nothing else, it will lead to a discussion about moving and could reset everyone’s ideas about the future.
Ruthie’s Social Calendar
Jan. 16—Opening Night of ‘The Marvelous Wonderettes’ at Sunset Playhouse (700 Wall St., Elm Grove): When four girlfriends prepare for their 1958 prom, we get to enjoy their antics with this delightful jukebox musical. Celebrate several hits of the ’50s and ’60s, in addition the magic of girl groups, during the 14-performance run. Grab your crinoline skirts, tease your hair and nab your tickets at sunsetplayhoues.com.
Jan. 18—‘Dining with the Divas’ at Hamburger Mary’s (730 S. Fifth St.): See why these drag revues are consistently rated best in Brew Town when you attend one of two fast and fun shows. Enjoy the 7:30 p.m. all-ages show or swing by the 21+ only performance at 9:30 p.m. (or stay for both!). Call early, as the gals usually sell out both performances (414-488-2555).
Jan. 19—Sunday Funday Bar Crawl at This Is It (418 E. Wells St.): Make it a Sunday Funday for the books when you hop aboard the This Is It party bus! Purchase your $15 ticket at thisisitbar.ticketleap.com then arrive at the bar by 1 p.m. The bus leaves sharply at 1:30 p.m., before stopping at five Downtown Milwaukee watering holes. Tickets include a T-shirt, free drinks, drink specials and more.
Jan. 19—Drag Queen Storytime at Colectivo (2301 S. Kinnickinnic Ave.): Grab the kiddies and treat them to a 2 p.m. hour of fun when the city’s favorite drag queens read books about empowerment, equality and compassion. The afternoon is free to attend, but 10% of all food and beverage purchases will go toward local LGBTQ charities.
Jan. 20—‘Loud & Queer: Kevin Kantor Poetry’ at Nō Studios Gallery (1037 W. McKinley Ave.): Meet actor Kevin Kantor (The Legend of Georgia McBride) for a 6 p.m. presentation of poetry and song. Joined by musician Matt Rodin, Kantor offers an evening of inspirational art free to the public. Drinks and food are available for purchase. Visit community.nostudios.com for more information.
Jan. 21—Best of Milwaukee 2019 Party at Potawatomi Hotel & Casino (1721 W. Canal St.): Shepherd Express awards the best the city has to offer in food, service, entertainment and more with this annual celebration. Mix and mingle with the finalists during this 5-8 p.m. bash that keeps the city talking for many months. Cash bars and food vendors add to the fun, in addition to live music, free appetizers and more. Tickets are not available at the door, so be sure to swing by shepherdtickets.com for your $25 pass now!
Ask Ruthie a question or share your events with her at dearruthie@shepex.com. Follow her on Instagram @ruthiekeester and Facebook at Dear Ruthie. Enjoy her campy reality show, Camp Wannakiki, Season Two, on YouTube.
