I’m so excited to welcome a pair of wonderful columnists to the Shepherd Express’ LGBTQ section—Carmen Murguia (this week) and Christopher Walton (starting Thursday, Nov. 15)! I’ve always been sort of a “bigger is better” kind of girl. And while I know that big things can come in small packages, a bigger LGBTQ section in Shepherd Express is certainly something to celebrate.
Carmen’s column, “I Like It Like That,” and Christopher’s, “Black, Blue and Rainbow,” are sure to entertain, educate and energize. I know both Carmen and Christopher will contribute exciting new voices, viewpoints and ideas that all of Milwaukee will relish.
I’m honored to share these pages with both Carmen and Christopher, and I look forward to working with them to make the LGBTQ section of Shepherd Express a wonderful experience for all readers. Welcome!
Dear Ruthie,
Thanksgiving is quickly approaching, leaving me with the same issue I’ve had to deal with for the last few years. This year, I’m dropping the mess into your lap! I hope you can help.
My in-laws come from South Dakota each Thanksgiving. This is a decent visit except they cannot accept their grandchild—my son—as a gay man. He came out four years ago, and each Thanksgiving, his grandparents treat him rudely, saying his homosexuality is a “phase” and that he needs to “just get over it.” Their attitude has ruined the holidays, caused hurt/angry feelings and raised tension (at best).
My son brushes it off, and we reassure our love for him, but I know the words and actions of his grandparents upsets him (and disturb everyone else, really). What can my husband and I do this year to stop this behavior? Should we uninvite them altogether?
Help Me Stop These Turkeys,
Nervous Mom
Dear Nervous,
Tell those turkeys to stuff it! Better yet, tell your hubby to grow a pair (seems to be theme this week!) and lay down the law with his parents. There’s no need to get you in the middle when he should be discussing such behavior with his own mother and father.
I understand that they’re older, and they may not be as well-versed in sexuality, acceptance and overall manners as today’s younger families are, but it’s time to teach these old dogs some new tricks!
Your husband needs to communicate his expectations regarding their behavior well before their visit. Let them know what is not acceptable, the importance of respecting their grandson, and how their previous actions affected your son (and the atmosphere of the home overall). Give them the chance to ask questions. Clarify any confusion and explain any misconceptions they might have. Your hubby needs to communicate that, should they be unable to respect your son, they must stay home this Thanksgiving. Harsh love? Perhaps. Protecting and respecting your son? You bet. More turkey for you? Hell yes!
Dear Ruthie,
My new boyfriend and I were invited to a quaint dinner party hosted by a couple of his friends. When an unexpected business trip meant my boyfriend needed to cancel, he texted the hosts explaining he could no longer attend, but that I would still be there. After a few days of no reply, he received a text from the hosts saying this was a “couple’s dinner.” I was somewhat politely uninvited. They suggested the four of us get together once he returned from his trip.
Rude, right? Granted, I’m not that close with his friends, but I thought I made a good impression, and I thought the dinner would be a great way to bond with them without my boyfriend in tow. Am I wrong for being a bit hurt? Am I wrong for taking this a little too personally? My boyfriend tells me to let it go, but I can’t. What do you think?
(signed)
Hurt & Hungry
Dear Hungry,
As my neighbor Vinnie says, “Fuhgeddaboudit!” Granted, un-invites are always pretty gosh-darn rude, but you said yourself that you’re not close with his friends. Don’t make a big deal out of this. Go out with the hosts upon your guy’s return and bond with his amigos that way. In a few years, you’ll likely all look back and laugh this off, so don’t ruin what might be a good friendship now.
Ruthie’s Social Calendar
Nov. 9—Castaways MC Anniversary Party at Kruz (354 E. National Ave.): Join the crew of the city’s most popular Levi/Leather social club in celebrating their 39th anniversary. These boys always host a good time, so kick off your weekend with them during the 9 p.m. party.
Nov. 9—WREX Night at D.I.X. (739 S. First St.): Join hostess T Rex as she takes some of Milwaukee’s favorite performers from wrecks to wrex! Not sure what that means? Check out the 10 p.m. event and find out! Drag performances, drink specials, a DJ, dancing and a special appearance from “Camp Wannakiki” winner Alexis P. Bevels will make it a Friday night to remember.
Nov. 11—Kweens 4 Kids at Lakefront Brewery (1872 N. Commerce St.): Your $10 cover charge helps Children’s Hospital of Wisconsin while you enjoy a hilarious drag show from some of the funniest gals in Cream City. Doors open at 6 p.m. with the show starting at 6:30 p.m. Cash bar and food will be available for ordering. Sorry, kids, this show is only for those 21 and over.
Nov. 12—Spirit of Inclusion: Transgender Awareness Discussion at Spirit of Peace Lutheran Church (5505 W. Lloyd St.): Learn about transgender issues during this free 6-8 p.m. discussion that’s open to the public. Learn how to promote inclusiveness in our community, become a better ally and widen your circle of understanding and compassion. Call 414-476-3189 for more information.
Nov. 13—Coffee Connection at 88Nine Radio Milwaukee (220 E. Pittsburgh Ave.): The Wisconsin LGBT Chamber of Commerce hosts this 8-9 a.m. coffee klatch, giving you a chance to gab and go before you start your day. Network with likeminded business owners and make new connections during this monthly mingle.
Nov. 14—RuFFDRAFT Party at This Is It! (418 E. Wells St.): Can’t wait until the next RuFFHouse party? Now you don’t have to! The gang at This Is It! gets your blood pumping with this 10 p.m. mid-month bash. Expect a DJ and $1 drinks (yes, you read that right). RuFFDRAFT Bombs help chase away your Hump Day blues.
Ask Ruthie a question and share your events at dearruthie@shepex.com. Follow her on Instagram @ruthiekeester and Facebook at Dear Ruthie. Listen to Ruthie every Friday on Energy 106.9 at 10:05 a.m.
