Dear Ruthie,
My mother is elderly and widowed, and my siblings and I struggled to find a handyman that we trusted, could afford and found dependable. We were lucky to find “Russ.” My mother adores him and considers him a close friend. He really knows what he’s doing, and he’s always there to shovel, mow, fix things, etc. He’s a great guy, about my age. That’s the problem!
I’m a gay man, and I developed feelings for “Russ” over the last few years. I feel like I need to ask him if he’s gay and see if there’s a spark between us. On the other hand, I don’t want to ruin the relationship between him and my mother (and our family), and I can’t lose this great handyman who helps my mother in so many ways.
What if I make a move that unsettles him to the point he quits? Do I suffer in silence? Do I risk losing this great handyman? Do I go for it and maybe find my Mr. Right?
Help, Ruthie, help!
Hammer Head
Dear Hammer,
Stop! In the name of love, just stop! Put your mother’s feelings first. Remember, this is your mother’s buddy. “Russ” is someone your mom enjoys having around and spending time with. Are you sure you want to do anything that might jeopardize that friendship? How many friends does your mother have right now?
If in the end, you feel that love will conquer all, I’d suggest you move slowly. Start by simply letting “Russ” know you’re gay. His reaction will likely point you in a direction of where to take things next. If he’s bothered by your sexuality, he’s clearly not the friend you thought he was, and keep him at a yard stick’s length.
Ruthie’s Social Calendar
March 6—Opening Night The Phantom of the Opera at Marcus Performing Arts Center (929 N. Water St.): One of the most popular figures in musical history haunts Cream City once again when the Phantom’s tour buses roll into town. Whether you’ve enjoyed this musical for years or have yet to hit the haunted opera house, don’t miss this new production of the Andrew Lloyd Webber masterpiece. The show runs through March 17, with tickets ranging in price from $40 to $130. See marcuscenter.org for more.
March 8—MGHA Classic Drag Show Fundraiser at FIVE Nightclub (Five Applegate Court, Madison): Like drag shows? Like hunky hockey players? Like Madison? Well, you better fasten your seatbelt because your wildest (and weirdest?) fantasy is about to come true! Head to the capital for this change-of-pace drag show that dresses up six hockey players, all for the good of the Madison Gay Hockey Association. (Who knew?) The fun starts at 8 p.m.
March 8—Fired Up Friday at Walker’s Pint (818 S. Second St.): Every Friday, this well-known women’s bar offers a new way to kick your weekend off the best way possible. This week, enjoy karaoke at 9:30 p.m., drink specials and more. If you haven’t been to Walker’s Pint lately, this is a great way to check it out!
March 9—Lesbian Pop Up Bar at Bay View Bowl (2416 S. Kinnickinnic Ave.): For one year, the team at Lesbian Pop Up Bar has been bringing the fun to hot spots around the city. Help them celebrate a year of good times with this special Pop Up! The good times start at 7:30 p.m. with lanes already reserved for Glow Bowl. Mention “Lesbian Pop Up Bar/Milwaukee” to receive $4 bowling games with free shoes.
March 9—Living in Oblivion: ’80s Underground Party at Studio 200 (200 E. Washington St.): Once upon a time, new-wave bands such as Depeche Mode, Psychedelic Furs, The Smiths, The Cure and others ruled a dark, yet lovely underworld populated by kids who just wanted to be themselves. While their music may not be played much today, they are not forgotten, and you can relive these glories years at this 21+ dance party. The no-cover party runs 9 p.m. to bar close.
March 10—Leprechaun and Lion and Lamb Beer Bust at Kruz (354 E. National Ave.): Get a jumpstart on St. Paddy’s Day when you hit up this Sunday Funday at one of the city’s hottest Levi/Leather bars. The 3-7 p.m. party is always a good time with raffle prizes, friendly faces and more. Dress to match the theme and you’ll receive five free raffle tickets.
March 10—Daylight Savings Cabaret at This Is It! (418 E. Wells St.): Everyone’s favorites songstress and piano man share their musical stylings when they hit the stage at the new performance space at This Is It!. Karen Valentine and Gino De Luca start their show at 5 p.m. while cute bartenders tempt you with the bar’s legendary drink specials.
March 10—Dining with DEBUTantes at Hamburger Mary’s (730 S. Fifth St.): Finally! A regular show devoted to debuting the talents of new entertainers in our community! Get your heels wet, girls, and join this brand-new show. Show friends, family and Milwaukee what you’ve got or simply sit back and enjoy this new show from the city’s kitschy burger joint. Call 414-488-2555 for a reservation to this new 7:30 p.m. show.
March 13—Youth TGNBNC Support Group at Milwaukee LGBT Community Center (1110 N. Market St.): The city’s community center offers oh-so many programs and services in Milwaukee, and this is yet another one. This free, open support group for transgender, non-binary and non-gender-conforming youth starts at 4:30 p.m. and runs for 60 minutes. Stop by mkelgbt.org for more on this wonderful support group and others the center offers.
Ask Ruthie a question or share your events at dearruthie@shepex.com. Follow her on Instagram @ruthiekeester and Facebook at Dear Ruthie. Don’t miss season one of her drag reality show on YouTube—“Camp Wannakiki!”
