I’m a 25-year-old gay man who has always been something of a late-bloomer. Except for a short-lived FWB situation, I have been single my whole adult life. Recently, a Tinder match and I hit it off, and we met up despite whatever Coronavirus fears we had.
He was fantastic: handsome, kind, funny, successful, and my own age. He wasn't afraid to talk about wanting to have a family, which is important to me, too.
I usually only go out with someone from Tinder once or twice before one of us decides it won't work. This match and I went out five times within a month. I couldn't believe my luck, and I thought we might have something good going.
The last time I texted him, though, he told me he thought we were looking for different things, and that while he thought I was a nice guy, he didn't think we were a match.
I’m feeling rather heartbroken. I know that time heals all wounds, maybe I’ll meet someone else, etc., but what if I can’t stop thinking about him? Unwanted messages will only push him away, but if I waited, say six months, could I ask him out again? Or do you think I should just let bygones be bygones?
Sincerely,
Woefully Inexperienced
Dear Woeful,
Chin up, darlin’! You win some, and you lose some...and believe it or not you become a better person for it. I understand the hurt and confusion you feel as the two of you had opposite feelings. Try to chill for at least 6 months before you even think of reaching out to him again. A lot can happen in 6 months, and you likely feel differently about him then. If after 6 months you still feel this is worth a second shot, send a text and see what happens, fully willing to accept the outcome.
You’re only 25, honey, so while it feels like you’ve “been single (you’re) whole adult life,” you’ll look back at this realize it’s a drop in the bucket compared to the big picture. So, let you heart heal, and move on. There’s a lifetime of adventure waiting for you!
Ruthie’s Social Calendar
August 13 to August 16—Irishfest at Home via www.irishfest.com/athome: Even though the luck of the Irish hasn’t exactly been with Milwaukee festival goers this year, you just keep an Irish man down! Slip into your kilt, crack open a beer and take in the fun from your comfy abode. See www.irishfest.com/athome for more on the live streaming content, including music, cooking demos, family entertainment and so much more.
August 14—Ricky Royale Ball at This Is It (418 E. Wells St.): This Is It switches things up once again with a majestic ball, featuring drag sensation Ricky Royale. Don’t miss the 10 p.m. drag show, royal court, drink specials and more. You can also watch the fun from home as everything will be streaming on the bar’s social media pages.
August 16—Magic Pride Festival: A Virtual Experience via www.outreachmagicfestival.org: The show must go on…or so say the staff members of Madison’s OutReach LGBT Community Center. This annual pride party is going online with the state’s favorite entertainers, speakers and even a vendor area. Let your spirit shine with one of the last pride celebrations of the summer! See www.outreachmadisonlgbt.org for additional information on the 1-6 p.m. streaming soiree.
August 17—LGBTQ+ & Disability Virtual Support Group at Milwaukee LGBT Community Center (1110 N. Market St.): The community center and Independence First team up to offer this digital group to explore issues and advocacy affecting those with visible and invisible disabilities. Join the weekly 2:30 p.m. session at www.mkelgbt.org or contact ccarter@mkelgbt.org with questions, ideas or concerns.
August 18—Drag Queen Bingo at Hamburger Mary’s (730 S. 5th St.): I’m baaack! I’m yanking balls and serving sass once again at the city’s pink and purple burger palace. Join me as we raise donations for our hosting local charity. The games start at 7:30 p.m., but arrive early and grab a burger, a brew and get ready to bust a gut laughing. Swing by www.hamburgermarys.com/mke and make your reservations as seating is limited.
Have a question for Ruthie? Want to share an event with her? Contact Ruthie at DearRuthie@ShepEx.com.
