Casinos, bright lights, show girls, a happening downtown….no, I’m not talking about Las Vegas. I’m talking about Milwaukee! Check out the weekly happenings listed here, and you’ll realize that our little Brew Town has a lot to offer. Be a big winner and paint the town red this week, but first check out a letter from a reader who rolled the dice and lost.
Dear Ruthie,
I went to Las Vegas and I was a total slut. I admit it. I was out of control, playing with several guys, and I wasn’t always safe. Now, I’ve been home for just over two weeks and I’ve got a pink spot on the head of my penis. It doesn’t hurt or itch and its not getting bigger but it’s not getting smaller either.
I have another admission. I have a partner. I have no clue what this thing on my dick is and I’m afraid I might give him something. But I also don’t want to admit that I cheated on him. What do you think it is? HELP!
—Worry Wart
Dear Whore,
I don’t know what the hell it is! Go to a doctor or swing by one of Milwaukee’s STD clinics and have someone take a peek at your pecker.
You also might want to rethink some of your choices. Being a human slot machine in Vegas is one thing, but bringing something home to your innocent, unknowing significant other is another….particularly because you decided to spin the roulette wheel and not play it safe. Get yourself checked out and think long and hard about your choices next time. Okay, honey pie? OK!
UPCOMING EVENTS:
Oct. 21-25: Milwaukee LGBT Film/Video Festival (various locations): This popular fête du cinéma may have started last week, but there’s plenty of time to check out the wonderful LGBT-themed films and documentaries. Presented by UW-Milwaukee, the 30th installment of this festival offers 33 films. See uwm.edu/lgbtfilmfestival for schedules, locations, ticket information and more.
Oct. 22: Horrifying HamBingo at Hamburger Mary’s (2130 S. Kinnickinnic Ave.): Join me and other animal lovers as we raise money for four local animal-related charities via Ruthie’s Kennel Club. In addition to 10 crazy rounds of bingo, you’ll enjoy a marketplace for shopping, tarot card readings, a costume contest, crazy-good prizes and more! The fun starts at 8 p.m. Call 414-988-9324 for reservations.
Oct. 23: Tassels of Terror-Part 2 at Frank’s Power Plant (2800 S. Kinnickinnic Ave.): The gals of Cream City Cabaret are shimmying across the stage for another spooky Halloween striptease. A $10 door charge gets you into the 9 p.m. event that includes special guest stars, costume contest and more terrifying temptations that you can shake a tassel at.
Oct. 24: Silent Auction for HIT at La Cage Niteclub (801 S. Second St.): Who doesn’t enjoy a good silent auction…particularly when it’s accompanied by free food, raffles, drink specials and a bevy of monitors featuring the Badgers game? Join the folks of Holiday Invitational (Bowling) Tournament (HIT) for a change-of-pace Saturday afternoon. The free event runs 1:30 to 5 p.m.
Oct. 24: Horrorgasmo at The Local/Club Anything (807 S. Fifth St.): It’s never too early to celebrate Halloween, so take in this “draglesque party” and get your fill of October outrageousness. Doors open at 9 p.m. with a $7 cover and a star-studded show at 10:30 p.m. The party continues with great music, drink specials and a costume contest.
Oct. 24-25 Kinky Jumble Sale at Leather Achieves & Museum (6418 N. Greenview Ave., Chicago): Looking to add a few new items to your leather closet? What about some books on leather, kink and fetish lifestyles? Don’t miss this leather emporium sale, where everything is $1! Open to the public, the 11 a.m. to 4:30 p.m. sale is a must for Sirs, boys and everyone in between.
Oct. 25: Strokes of Inspiration Painting Class at Fluid Bar (819 S. Second St.): Stop by Fluid as the popular Walker’s Point watering hole goes artsy for an afternoon. For $50 you’ll be part of this 1-4 p.m. art class (for beginners) where supplies are provided as are beverages and food! Proceeds go to the Holton Street Clinic, but best of all, you’ll go home with your very own piece of art. The class is only open to 20 students, however, so stop by Fluid and reserve your spot today.
Want to share an event with Ruthie or ask a question? Email DearRuthie@Shepex.com. Catch her cooking series at ruthiesbitchinkitchen.com and follow her charity at ruthieskennelclub.org.
