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Congratulations to our westward amigos! Advocate magazine recently named Madison one of the “Queerest cities in America” (in a good way, of course). Mad City’s cultural scene, LGBT social clubs and watering holes, nondiscrimination ordinances and marriage-equality benefits helped Madison land the fifth spot in the list of 15 pink-friendly cities. The long-running publication also noted the city’s large LGBT population and its incredible sense of community.
Way to go Madisonites…or whatever the hell you people call yourselves. Unfortunately, Milwaukee didn’t make the cut. This surprises the hell outta me because we have so much to offer! Let’s take a look at a letter below and then check out this week’s happenings. C’mon Milwaukeeans…or whatever the hell we call ourselves. Let’s prove those magazine know-it-alls wrong!
Dear Ruthie,
I have an itchy, flaky, scaly red mark at the base of my penis. It itches like hell so I scratch it like hell. It feels good until the skin breaks and bleeds and hurts. It heals and the whole process starts over. Do you think it’s an STD?
Thanks,
Itchy-Scratchy
Dear Itchy,
I have one word for you…“ewww!” Get your pee-pee to a doctor! A general practitioner can look at your meat popsicle and steer you in the right direction. You might have a bout of psoriasis or eczema invading your weapon of ass destruction, but the doctor can check your yogurt slinger and prescribe something for the sore on your tummy banana. So stop scratching your just-in-beaver and get some medial attention today.
UPCOMING EVENTS
January 24: Trans and Queer Zines Workshop at Milwaukee LGBT Community Center (1110 N. Market St.): Join the FORGE team and Queer Zine Archive Project founder Milo Miller during a 7-9 p.m. workshop about self-publishing. The hands-on class reviews how to tell LGBT stories, biographies and experiences through various media. All materials are provided for the class. Call 414-271-2656 for more.
January 24: Leather Club Night at Harbor Room (117 E. Greenfield Ave.): Grab your ball gag or gimp mask because it’s leather night at Harbor Room bar. Hmm…I thought every night at this Downtown bar was leather night. Oh, well! Hot men in leather? You can never get enough of that! Get your leather on from 7 p.m. until bar close.
January 24: Miltown Kings ‘Creature Feature’ at Miramar Theatre (2844 N. Oakland Ave.): The popular drag king group toasts B-horror films during this retro night of spooky delights. Loaded with all the bulging crotches, slicked hair and taped down ta-tas you can handle, it’s a creature feature you don’t want to miss! Best of all, the 18+ show features seasoned performers as well as today’s up and comers! Cover charge for the 9 p.m. event is $8, or come dressed as your favorite shock star or scream queen and enter for $7. A costume contest rounds out the night.
January 26 & 27: ‘Give My Regards to Broadway: New York’s Tin Pan Alley’ at Sunset Playhouse (800 Elm Grove Road): Get ready to tap your toes during a light-hearted look at the early days of the New York music scene. Local singers hit the boards for this celebration of classics including “Alexander’s Ragtime Band” and “Sweet Georgia Brown.” Tickets range from $18 to $20, and can be purchased by calling the box office at 262-782-4430 or visiting sunsetplayhouse.com.
Have a question for Ruthie or need to tell her about an event? Email DearRuthie@Shepex.com. Be sure to “friend” her on Facebook (Ruthie Keester), follow her on Twitter (@DearRuthie) and catch her web series at ruthiesbitchinkitchen.com.
