Maybe it’s the chill in the air. Maybe it’s the frivolity of Halloween. Maybe it’s the moon. Whatever it is, people are horny in Cream City. Take a look at this coupling of emails I recently received, then head out and look for love via the events listed in my social calendar. Who knows? You might get a little hoochie coochie yourself this week!
Dear Ruthie,What’s up with all of the people on Facebook who say their relationship is “complicated?” What does that even mean? What’s so complicated? Either you’re in a relationship or you’re not. Can you explain this “it’s complicated” status to me, please?
Your Friend,
Confused
Dear Confused,The answer is simple: They’re sluts.
Dear Ruthie,Our two friends have moved a third man into their home, and they’re now insisting we address the three of them as a triad marriage and acknowledge this new person as their new husband. We think it’s weird, and we’re uncomfortable around this new man as we don’t really know him well. What do you think about our friends’ action?
—Three’s a Crowd
Dear Crowd,
Your friends are sluts. No, no, no. All kidding aside, they’re sluts. I’m kidding, but seriously, if you value your friendship with the couple, try to get to know this third member of their home. If you feel you don’t know the newbie very well, simply tell your friends (in private), that you’d like to get to know the new guy better. Making such an effort will improve the situation for everyone, your friends will appreciate your willingness to learn about their new living situation and you’ll likely make a new friend out of it all.
Ruthie’s Social Calendar
Oct. 18: Opening night of ‘A Midsummer Night’s Dream’ at Off the Wall Theatre (127 E. Wells St.): Musical lovers, rejoice! Shakespeare lovers, rejoice! The words of the Bard are set to the music of Cole Porter in this change-of-pace production from one of Milwaukee’s favorite black box theaters. Described as a “seamless tapestry of mirth, mystery and magic,” the show runs through Oct. 29. Call the box office at 414-484-8874 for the $30 tickets.
Oct. 20: ‘Trick or Tease’ Burlesque Show at The Wherehouse (818 S. Water St.): The Brew City Bombshells get naughty with this sexy (and spooky) show loaded with strip teases, comedy and plenty of macabre moments. The $15 door charge begins at 8:30 p.m. with the show bouncing onto the stage at 9.
Oct. 20: Whose Drag Is It Anyway at D.I.X. (739 S. First St.): I make my formal D.I.X. debut during this kooky Halloween show, featuring your favorite dead celebrities playing a few rounds of “Match Game.” The fun starts at 10 p.m. with drink specials, a DJ, dancing and more. Join me, and let’s celebrate Halloween early!
Oct. 21: Paint by Number Party at This Is It (418 E. Wells St.): Let your creative spirit soar when you join hostess Ester Flonaze for a night of painting. The $10 cover charge gets you a canvas and painting supplies as well as a free drink and all the fun you can handle. Flex your artistic muscle (that sounds dirty) during the 5-7 p.m. event.
Oct. 22: A Spooky Spectacular Miltown Halloween Bash at Urban Ecology Center (1859 N. 40th St.): It’s family fun a go-go with this not-too-scary afternoon of Halloween treats. The 2-4:30 p.m. party includes pumpkin decorating, a scavenger hunt, Halloween sweets and costume contests (including a family costume category). Enjoy the season (and haunting holiday) with like-minded families during the annual boo-bash, hosted by Dixie Kuppe.
Oct. 22: Girlpool at Colectivo Coffee (2211 N. Prospect Ave.): The popular indie rock band, Girlpool, makes its Cream City debut in the backroom at Colectivo. Serving up punk with a nod to female empowerment, vulnerability and strength, the group hits the stage at 8 p.m. (doors at 7 p.m.). Swing by pabsttheater.org for the $15 tickets.
Oct. 23: Kickoff of the LGBTQ+ Meditation & Yoga Series at Greene Hall (3347 N. Downer Ave.): Develop your inner yogi with this series of safe-space classes, designed for yoga beginners and experts alike. This, the first in a three-part series, explores meditation and yoga. Email martinj@uwm.edu with questions or visit bit.ly/yogarsvp for reservations.
Want to share an event with Ruthie? Need her advice on a situation? Email DearRuthie@Shepex.com.
