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It’s that time of year again—time for Valentine’s Day. Love it or loathe it—it’s here. Personally, I’m not a fan. I don’t need Hallmark to tell me when it’s time to snuggle up with a hairy bear, an adorable twink or a leather daddy (or all three at once for that matter).
In addition, I don’t need a “holiday” (note the use of quotes) to remind me that my looks are not what they used to be. Trust me. The last time Cupid saw me naked, he shot an arrow into his own head. It wasn’t pretty.
I know, I know…some of you adore Valentine’s Day and you have all sorts of cutesy-wutesy plans to ring in the red, white and pink. And by “red, white and pink” I’m not referring to Lena Dunham’s latest bikini wax or Justin Bieber’s taint. I’m talking about this high-holy holiday for newlyweds, cat ladies, grade-schoolers and Victoria’s Secret salesgirls who are paid on commission.
Not sure where Valentine’s Day will find you this year? Take a look at the list of happenings this week, and see if anything trips your love trigger. You can also see the email I recently received from a reader feeling pressure to create the perfect Valentine’s Day. Until then, paint the town red and spread the VD cheer.
Dear Ruthie,
I’ve been with my boyfriend for three months, so this is our first Valentine’s Day together. I’m feeling a ton of pressure to make it special. Am I supposed to plan a getaway or can I just make dinner at home? Are flowers and a card cool, or do I have to buy something impressive? I don’t want to screw things up so early on.
Thanks,
Feeling Frustrated
Dear Frustrated,
Crack open a six-pack and pop season two of “Laverne & Shirley” into the DVR. We’re doing this Valentine’s Day right, bitches! What’s the matter? Not your cup of tea? That’s the point! Simply do what’s in your heart. Don’t worry about it being perfect and don’t worry about giving the wrong gift. Enjoy Valentine’s Day however you’d like. Don’t feel pressured. Remember that putting all of your romantic hopes and dreams on one day is as risky as having coffee with Bill Cosby.
Feb. 12-15: ‘She Kills Monsters’ at UW-Milwaukee’s Kenilworth Square East (1925 E. Kenilworth Place): Levi Miles directs this comedy that combines a coming-out story with today’s gaming and “geek culture.” Qui Nguyen’s play also takes a look at LGBT characters in the gaming community, ’90s pop culture and more. Watch the Dungeons-and-Dragons drama unfold with $10 general admission tickets (discounts available for seniors and students). Visit psoacal.uwm.edu for show times and more.
Feb. 13: The B-52s at Northern Lights Theater (1721 W. Canal St.): Roam if you want to, right on over to Potawatomi Hotel & Casino for The B-52s! A longtime favorite of the LGBT community, the madcap songsters bring their cosmic party to Milwaukee. Hit the Love Shack during the 8 p.m. concert by reserving tickets at 414-847-7922.
February 13 & 14: Valentine’s Weekend at Captain Dix/Rainbow Valley Resort (4124 River Road, Wisconsin Dells): If you’ve never visited this LGBT resort, Valentine’s Day is a great time to do so. The northern getaway is offering a two-night stay and sweetheart dinner for $200. Call 866-553-1818 for reservations.
Feb. 14: Shred Your Ex Valentine’s Party at Black Sheep (216 S. Second St.): On Valentine’s, tell the lovers to take a hike, and hit this new hotspot! Bring a photo of your ex, shred it in the bar’s paper shredder and receive half-price drinks from 7 p.m. to close. See? Your ex was good for something, after all!
Feb. 15: Bubbles & Beauties at Hybrid Lounge (707 E. Brady St.): Hybrid has drag shows? You know it! Milwaukee’s very own blonde bombshell Nova D’Vine hosts this monthly soiree that couples champagne with Cream City’s most popular entertainers. The fun starts at 8 p.m.
Feb. 17: Mardi Gras at Riverwest Public House (815 E. Locust St.): Get your beads ready because drag diva Dora Diamond is celebrating Fat Tuesday with a free 9 p.m. event. Burlesque performances, comedy bits, raffles and more make it a wacky but wild night.
Have a question for Ruthie or need to tell her about an event? Email DearRuthie@Shepex.com. Catch her web series at RuthiesBitchinKitchen.com
