Alabama is the only state in the union thatstill has a ban on the sale of sex toys. Nevertheless, a shop called Pleasuresin Huntsville, Ala., recently expanded to a former bank building in order touse three drive-thru windows to sell dildos (as a way to enhance customerprivacy). Since state law prohibits the sale unless used for "bona fidemedical, scientific, educational, legislative, judicial, or law enforcementpurposes," customers must provide a brief written description of theirmedical or other "legitimate" condition in order to make thepurchase.
The Weirdo-American Community
In November, at a burglary scene near Seneca,S.C., deputies said they found Noah Smith naked and allegedly drugged, with astring-like object protruding from his buttocks. Smith was X-rayed, revealing(according to the deputies' report, which made its way to the Internet) thatthe object in his rectum was a "mouse." However, several days later,the sheriff's office clarified that the object was a "computermouse." Smith told emergency room personnel that he had no memory of theincident.
Armed and Clumsy
People who accidentally shot themselvesrecently: Daniel McDaniels, 31, in Sarasota, Fla., "trying to ward off askunk" (October); Sanford Rothman, 63, in Boulder, Colo., whilesleepwalking (October); reserve police officer Kenneth Shannon, 68, in Gary,Ind., in the hand while loading his gunand the bullet went on to hit hispartner (October); Sheriff's Deputy Miguel Rojas, in Crestview, Fla., in theleg while at firearms training (July); Darrel Elam, 52, in Peshastin, Wash., inthe buttocks as he holstered his gun (August); a 48-year-old woman, in Clover,S.C., in the jaw while trying to kill a rat (September); a 25-year-old man, inJuneau, Alaska, in the head after jokingly telling friends that there is"one way" to find out whether a gun is loaded or not (October 2009).
Recurring Themes
Ironies: (1) The man caught in November inBrainerd, Minn., with a computer drive containing 75,000 pornographic videos,including child pornography, was Steven Augustinack, 52. One month earlier, theBrainerd Jaycees had named Augustinack “Citizen of the Year.” (2) In November,the man reported to police in Louisville, Ky., for "indecentexposure" for allegedly sitting in his car at a traffic light,masturbating in view of a woman in the next car, was Charles Lickteig II, 48,who is supervisor of a La Grange, Ky., correctional facility's sex-offendertreatment program.
Cutting-Edge Science
- Six-year-old Alexis McCarter, of Pelzer, S.C., underwent surgeryearlier this month to remove the safety pin that she had stuck up her nose as ababy and which was lodged in her sinus cavity (having sprung open only after itwas inside her, causing headaches, nosebleeds and ear infections).
- Researcher Patricia Brennan of Yale University told a conference inJuly that a duck's penis may vary in length from year to yeardepending ontheir competition. Duck penises mostly waste away after each mating season andthen regrow; Brennan found that they regrow longer if there are other malesaround. (Female ducks are known to have corkscrew-shaped vaginas, and thus acentimeter or two can make a big difference for success in mating.)
News of the Entitled
Cell phones and GPS devices have lednational-park visitors to do "stupid" things, confident that theywill be saved from themselves, a Grand Teton National Park representative told The New York Times in August. Examplesinclude a lost, cold hiker who called rangers to ask for hot chocolate andvisitors flummoxed by cold weather who wanted a personal escort back to theircampsite. In August, a party of hikers in Illinois called for (and received)three separate rescues in 24 hours.
%uFFFD 2010 Chuck Shepherd
